I have reach at the end of the loop again...
Constant: Changed.
Process within the loop: Changed.
Testing Variable, which is me : Of coz is the same! Even though it's age is older and older...
Output? Same, which means FAIL.
Impact to the testing variable: Sadness + Disappointment + Feel hopeless to live in this world even more...
Proceed or Stop: Proceed. Till the day CPU malfunctioned.
So here am I again, between the end of the loop and waiting to being forced to go into the loop again. Frankly speaking, I'm so sicked of it. I'm so sicked with my live. I'm so sicked with God coz HE keep on putting me into the loop, no matter how much I disgust and hate about it.
For countless time I feel so hopeless...You see, if I'm allowed to do so, I won't hesitate to just jump down and die away. Yet so many things stopping me...
My parents - Atleast need to serve them till they died. Since they are the one take care of me till now.
My friends - Seriously doubt about this stopping factor. I wonder how many friends will be really sad when I'm gone...
Hell - Ok...This one is the real stopping factor. Because if I take my own life, I sure will be in Hell...
Jeez...So cumbersome...To go into Heaven is so tough...I need to do exactly what God tell me to do...But you know...Too much restriction...
I know how I will be...With my seriously stupid CPU and volatile RAM, I will just stuck as a normal worker forever...Well...If I have to take care of my own family then will be a serious problem cause of no enough money, but since sure I won't have one...So basically I no need to worry that much...Just make sure keep enough money so that I can buy a house that near to beach and also no need to work so much in my old life...
I quite relieved that atleast I already have a vision on how is my own lonely old life will be...If God really take my life away only after I 70++ years old...A house near the beach...Hear the sound of the wave all the time...Plant some vegetables and fruits so that I can earn some pocket money...Waiting for the day I die...Not a bad ending for me isn't it?
I won't know how many more time God want to put me inside the damn loop, but atleast...I have a target...Even though it is so far away...
Constant: Changed.
Process within the loop: Changed.
Testing Variable, which is me : Of coz is the same! Even though it's age is older and older...
Output? Same, which means FAIL.
Impact to the testing variable: Sadness + Disappointment + Feel hopeless to live in this world even more...
Proceed or Stop: Proceed. Till the day CPU malfunctioned.
So here am I again, between the end of the loop and waiting to being forced to go into the loop again. Frankly speaking, I'm so sicked of it. I'm so sicked with my live. I'm so sicked with God coz HE keep on putting me into the loop, no matter how much I disgust and hate about it.
For countless time I feel so hopeless...You see, if I'm allowed to do so, I won't hesitate to just jump down and die away. Yet so many things stopping me...
My parents - Atleast need to serve them till they died. Since they are the one take care of me till now.
My friends - Seriously doubt about this stopping factor. I wonder how many friends will be really sad when I'm gone...
Hell - Ok...This one is the real stopping factor. Because if I take my own life, I sure will be in Hell...
Jeez...So cumbersome...To go into Heaven is so tough...I need to do exactly what God tell me to do...But you know...Too much restriction...
I know how I will be...With my seriously stupid CPU and volatile RAM, I will just stuck as a normal worker forever...Well...If I have to take care of my own family then will be a serious problem cause of no enough money, but since sure I won't have one...So basically I no need to worry that much...Just make sure keep enough money so that I can buy a house that near to beach and also no need to work so much in my old life...
I quite relieved that atleast I already have a vision on how is my own lonely old life will be...If God really take my life away only after I 70++ years old...A house near the beach...Hear the sound of the wave all the time...Plant some vegetables and fruits so that I can earn some pocket money...Waiting for the day I die...Not a bad ending for me isn't it?
I won't know how many more time God want to put me inside the damn loop, but atleast...I have a target...Even though it is so far away...
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