tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67967840741789357952011-11-17T23:40:38.978+08:00A world with no heart...Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.comBlogger1161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-14036289582008758702011-08-08T11:53:00.002+08:002011-08-08T12:05:19.717+08:00I'm thinking...<br /><br />It will be the best if I'm not getting married...Oh and before that ever get a girlfriend...<br /><br />Curse from the parents towards his son...Is always the one that will worked...And seriously the way I look at it...Even though they will not work they will just come as retribution towards me anyway...<br /><br />As I mentioned before...How useless I am...<br /><br />I guess seriously it is best to abandon all hope anyway...<br /><br />Well, atleast adding one more reason for not being hopeful may make me easier to REALLY give up after all...<br /><br />After 3 months, yet the tone of the post still the same...Seriously a prove that my life is just in a bad cycle...Now stay in my home? Just make it worse...From a bad cycle to a worse cycle...<br /><br />Nice one, God!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1403628958200875870?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-80963773756672544612011-05-02T23:03:00.003+08:002011-05-02T23:36:06.006+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I always love to listen to sad songs...That doesn't mean I hate to listen to those happy tuning songs...Just that those kind of songs seriously not suited to my mood...<br /><br />This songs...Most of the lyrics really hit me hard...Coz they are so true...<br /><br />I wonder how many more coldness I have to face in this human life...<br /><br />I already so tired to move on...<br /><br />I know...God only knows what is best for me and what is not...But why I feel so sad when everytime I lost those that are not mine?<br /><br />让软弱的我们懂得残忍<br />God let us who are weak to know about cruelness<br /><br />狠狠面对人生每次寒冷<br />Make us severely facing every coldness of human life<br /><br />依依不舍的爱过的人<br />Reluctant to give up on the person we so loved before<br /><br />往往有缘没有份<br />But everytime is just a failure<br /><br />谁把谁真的当真<br />Who treat who with real hearts?<br />谁为谁心疼　谁是唯一谁的人<br />Who is sad because of who? Who is whom only one?<br /><br />伤痕累累的天真的灵魂<br />The pure soul that is full with wounds<br /><br />早已不承认还有什么神<br />Already not believe anymore in God<br /><br />美丽的人生　善良的人<br />The beautiful life...The nice human...<br /><br />心痛心酸心事太微不足道<br />Heart aches...Sadness...Words...All are small matters...<br /><br />来来往往的你我遇到<br />相识不如相望淡淡一笑<br />When I meet you in the crowd of people<br />Is better to just smile at each other and walk away than to know each other...<br /><br />忘忧草　忘了就好<br />Forget-Me-Not...Is better to forget...<br />梦里知多少<br />Only remember it when in the dream...<br /><br />某天涯海角　某个小岛　某年某月某日某一次拥抱<br />That place...That island...That hug on that year, that month and that day<br /><br />青青河畔草　静静等天荒地老<br />The silent grasses beside the river...<br />Waiting patiently for forever...<br /><br />When can I find a real Forget Potion?<br />T^T<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8096377375667254461?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-71471860610525486042011-04-27T23:54:00.003+08:002011-04-28T01:00:15.092+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Finally...<br /><br />24 years old le...<br /><br />If all proceed successfully, then I can start my working life and start to save my money le...For myself, for my parents, and also my future family (Even though just a small possibility for my family part but meh...)<br /><br />I must be totally abnormal...Other people which same age as me still so young and want to try more but me already want to retired already...Coz too tired with everything...<br /><br />突然想起那一年夏天<br />Suddenly thought of the last summer<br /><br />傷心告別過一個人　眼淚滴進了蜜豆冰<br />Said bye bye sadly to a person Tears droped into Ais Kacang<br /><br />許多年後同樣一碗冰<br />After so many years the same Ais Kacang<br /><br />我和我遺忘的心情　我們最愛的角落裡<br />Me and my forgotten mood<br />Our favorable corner<br /><br />每次想起　不知該笑還是嘆息<br />When every time I thought of it<br />I don't know whether I should laugh or sigh...<br /><br />那宿命　不宿命　承諾的人　在哪裡<br />The fated, not fated, Promised Person<br />Where is She?<br /><br />＊意外的搭上列車　意外的來到這裡<br />Take the train of fate accidentally<br />Coming to here accidentally<br /><br />　意外給我這樣命運<br />Fate have been given to me accidentally<br /><br />　漫遊過天地　渺小的悲和喜<br />Journeyed though the sky and earth<br />Tiny little Sadness and happiness<br /><br />　意外的愛一個人　意外的一段美麗<br />Love a person accidentally<br />A beautiful story accidentally<br /><br />　意外讓我傷透了心<br />All these accident hurt my heart<br /><br />　我還是感激　誰帶我體驗過　最美的風景<br />But I still thankful<br />Those whoever have make me experienced<br />The most beautiful view<br /><br />擦肩而過萬千的生命<br />Thousand of humans that just crossed my shoulders<br /><br />上一秒他是路人甲　下一秒撞進生命裡<br />The second she is nobody<br />The next second she bump into my life<br /><br />慢慢學會不追問原因<br />Slowly and slowly, learned not to ask for reasons<br /><br />人間有多少的遺憾　就會有多少的驚喜<br />How many sadness in this world<br />Then how many surprise you will get<br /><br />蠟燭吹熄　不知願望該怎麼許<br />有期待　會不會　有更精采的劇情<br />Blow out the candles<br />But don't know what to wish<br /><br />Have expectation<br />Whether there will be any more exciting stories waiting for me<br /><br />Happy Birthday to me~<br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7147186061052548604?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-67368890435649488712011-04-01T21:34:00.001+08:002011-04-01T21:36:28.911+08:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I don't want to stay with parents anymore!<br /><br />我要搬出去！<br /><br />I want to move out!<br /><br />I rather staying alone!<br /><br />我宁愿一个人住！<br /><br />叫我永远不回家也没关系！<br /></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6736889043564948871?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-25465625597513214782011-03-27T22:28:00.002+08:002011-03-27T22:36:08.136+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Seriously I really don't know what to put as title...<br /><br />Have said this before but now I really realize that the more older I am, the more I can't take all these anymore...<br /><br />Parents constant nagging really make my life even worse...As if my life is not enough bad already...<br /><br />Seriously if TM have a job vacancy at Sabah/Sarawak, I will go there for sure. If that's the only way I can get away from my house...<br /><br />Nobody will really understand me except Gods, but I don't think HE even see me either to lend me HIS help...<br /><br />I would rather be not exist at all. Really wonder why God put me down to earth...I'm so tired and really frustrated...<br /><br />Which religion is true anyway? Each will say themselves are true...<br /><br />Religion A will says religion B books have these flaws and there, and religion B will says Religion A books have flaws here and there either...<br /><br />Why life is so difficult anyway?<br /><br />I rather be a animal...Atleast their life is simpler...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2546562559751321478?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-32142887205565809302011-03-06T13:39:00.002+08:002011-03-06T14:14:28.700+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I have reach at the end of the loop again...<br /><br />Constant: <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Changed</span>.<br />Process within the loop: <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Changed.</span><br />Testing Variable, which is me : <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Of coz is the same! Even though it's age is older and older...</span><br /><br />Output? <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Same, which means FAIL.</span><br /><br />Impact to the testing variable: <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Sadness + Disappointment + Feel hopeless to live in this world even more...</span><br /><br />Proceed or Stop: <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Proceed. Till the day CPU malfunctioned.</span><br /><br />So here am I again, between the end of the loop and waiting to being forced to go into the loop again. Frankly speaking, I'm so sicked of it. I'm so sicked with my live. I'm so sicked with God coz HE keep on putting me into the loop, no matter how much I disgust and hate about it.<br /><br />For countless time I feel so hopeless...You see, if I'm allowed to do so, I won't hesitate to just jump down and die away. Yet so many things stopping me...<br /><br />My parents - Atleast need to serve them till they died. Since they are the one take care of me till now.<br /><br />My friends - Seriously doubt about this stopping factor. I wonder how many friends will be really sad when I'm gone...<br /><br />Hell - Ok...This one is the real stopping factor. Because if I take my own life, I sure will be in Hell...<br /><br />Jeez...So cumbersome...To go into Heaven is so tough...I need to do exactly what God tell me to do...But you know...Too much restriction...<br /><br />I know how I will be...With my seriously stupid CPU and volatile RAM, I will just stuck as a normal worker forever...Well...If I have to take care of my own family then will be a serious problem cause of no enough money, but since sure I won't have one...So basically I no need to worry that much...Just make sure keep enough money so that I can buy a house that near to beach and also no need to work so much in my old life...<br /><br />I quite relieved that atleast I already have a vision on how is my own lonely old life will be...If God really take my life away only after I 70++ years old...A house near the beach...Hear the sound of the wave all the time...Plant some vegetables and fruits so that I can earn some pocket money...Waiting for the day I die...Not a bad ending for me isn't it?<br /><br />I won't know how many more time God want to put me inside the damn loop, but atleast...I have a target...Even though it is so far away...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3214288720556580930?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-67046693892517351182011-01-30T17:38:00.002+08:002011-01-30T18:09:24.144+08:00说实在的，我真的不知道为何上天让我诞生在这个世界上...<br /><br />在我家中，我是最没用，最笨，最迟钝，最没脑经，最让父母担心头痛的孩子...<br /><br />可不是吗？家务事 - 零蛋。就算做了也是给爸爸骂到天昏地暗，因为总是做到不够好...我并非不用心去做，而是无论我怎么做也做不好...要不然就是可以把整件事情给搞坏...就像今天，帮妈妈拿东西都会无言无辜滑倒在地上，结果？东西爆了...为何我总是这么的倒霉？<br /><br />还有一样很奇怪的事情就是我的电子东西都不会长久，意思就是说我买的电子东西都会很快坏...如果只是一两次还可以说是偶然，但是已经有超过十次以上都是这样了...USB插拔口总会生锈...可是又不见人家的会这样...这是怎么一回事？<br /><br />像我这样的性格根本没有女生会看得上眼...对，每个人都叫我改...可是如果是这样的话，我宁愿我是一架机器人算了...为什么？因为这样你们要我是怎样的一个人就直接输入程式改写我就好，不用劝到我半死...能改的话早就改了，还等到现在？像我这样的人可能根本没资格谈恋爱吧...<br /><br />撇开性格不谈，以后结婚了要怎样照顾家庭？这样笨的我，根本连照顾其他人的本事都没有！<br /><br />所以，我错了。从一开始我的存在就是上天开了每一个与我有关系的人一个玩笑。我不应该想找一个伴，因为就算找到了，我也没能力照顾她...<br /><br />所以，就算有缘分，我也一定要拒绝...谁叫上天弄到我这么没用？真不明白上天让这个这样没用的我，一个垃圾存在这个世界上是干嘛？因为我的没用让他看笑话吗？或许吧...都说是上天了...他要做什么自然什么都可以...但是我就惨了...这么痛苦的活在这个世界上...想要死都不可以...<br /><br />她终于拍拖了...也预料到了...当你的人生遭遇只是在一个环里转来转去时，结局是什么连闭上眼睛都可以知道...因为虽然事，人与物不同，但结局一样...<br /><br />我想，唯一能打破这个循环，就是当我心真正已死之时...那时候，心已无盼望，那就不会再进入那个环中了...<br /><br />每个友情都有一个时限...我和她的时间到了...<br /><br />或许，我在她心中早已不存在了...<br /><br />还有一个，也早已不存在了...或许，也从来没有存在过...<br /><br />突然想到我的存在是不是只是当人家的贵人？因为我帮了很多很多人，但是回报却是...虽然说帮一个人的时候是真心真意，但是当发生在我身上的是那么的悲惨的时候...我的心里真的会很不平衡...<br /><br />我多么想现在就消失...那么我什么都不用想...<br /><br />无...<br /><br />没有了...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6704669389251735118?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-35893075873479039572011-01-12T17:11:00.002+08:002011-01-12T17:14:29.798+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Even though I know how weird and hard to communicate I am...But to hear from the one I have feelings with said to me is like thousand knife slashing my hearts...<br /><br />Makes me totally no mood to do slide at all which I promise to give her by tomorrow...<br /><br />I admit I already accept my destiny...But...Doesn't mean I can't feel sad coz of that right?<br /><br />T.T<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3589307587347903957?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-79911329675268657582010-12-31T21:43:00.002+08:002010-12-31T21:55:59.422+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">By the time I started this post, only 2 hours and 16 minutes left saying bye bye to 2010 and welcome 2011...<br /><br />Wow...Another year had passed...<br /><br />Never expect to see myself stay alive for another year since last year...Guess I need to Thank God for giving me Strength to continue walking even though I fall down really really badly for few times...<br /><br />So New Year vision? What else? Graduate from MMU without problem and on time of coz! Is time to earn money! I'm too old already yet I not even working yet! Other friends of mine that same age already taking cash why I still taking books... >.<<br /><br />O Kami-sama! Please bless me!<br /><br />This year as usual many pains come to me...And shockingly I slowly get used to them already...Maybe finally I get immunity for them already...Well...I believe if you in a loop slowly you will get immune no matter what isn't it? Thank God I survive to this day!<br /><br />Darkness will be with me forever...I know...But I already get used to it...And I know now I can continue to walk down this path without the thinking of doing stupid thing anymore...<br /><br />Nevertheless Happy New Year!<br /><br />Hope I can write end of year 2011 post next year~<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7991132967526865758?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-82147929033397985192010-12-02T17:05:00.002+08:002010-12-02T17:29:31.720+08:00六个月过去了...也代表着我已经六个月没有update我的blog了...懒惰嘛是其中一个原因，但是最主要的还是我认为不需要再浪费字体写下我的想法...毕竟来来去去也是一样的...我的心情都是从希望跌到谷底，然后再有希望，再跌下去...如此的重复着...<br /><br />她有了个好对象，我不知道她已经和他在一起了没有，但是我知道我的心情很矛盾...自私的方面当然希望她不会和他在一起，因为如果在一起了，那过几年应该就可以准备喝她的喜酒了...可是良心那方面当然是希望她和他的梦中情人能够在一起幸福快乐的生活...<br /><br />突然间，现实出现了...“它”说：“就算她没有和他在一起又怎样？她永远都不会看上你的！她就算这辈子不结婚她也不会看上你这垃圾！算了吧！倒不如期望早日变得无心，这样至少你会过得好些！命运注定你孤独，注定你是垃圾！一个没人会要的垃圾！”<br /><br />我默然了...<br /><br />写到此才发觉到我已经写了这文章了...<br /><br />眼泪已经掉下来了...<br />心已经在流血了...<br />我迷惑了...<br />我想...无论我喜欢过了多少个人，其实我真正喜欢的是...始终是她吧...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8214792903339798519?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-29361800261676895742010-06-09T00:37:00.002+08:002010-06-09T01:09:40.240+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">The semester starts again...<br /><br />From holiday till now, things happen...<br /><br />One of my friends just break up...Well...Again...<br /><br />Wondering why this kind of things always happen...<br /><br />After a few weeks, it is time to say goodbye again to each other.<br /><br />I always say other friend that they only remember me when they got problem, if not I think I'm not exist at all in their memories...Maybe some of them who is clever enough also will say that I'm also like that...But the prob is, Is not that I forget, is just that...Is useless to see each other isn't it? Because there is nothing common that I can talk about to other people! So if nothing to talk, what for go to find them isn't it? No matter how I miss them all...It is impossible for me to call them out if nothing to talk...<br /><br />I...Seriously shouldn't be in this world...I'm not belong to this world...Coz I'm totally different with other people...Of coz people are different with each other...But atleast they have most common things that can bind them together...But I don't have...I'm totally different...No matter from the way I think and I look...<br /><br />Now I understand why those people in College and University can't accept me le...Coz even more than 10 years de friends also can't accept me, how suppose those newly know me will?<br /><br />My heart is so pain now...My tears have start to drop again...<br /><br />I wonder why God put me down to this earth, where my life is so unworthy...My existence...Is just a nuisance to other people...I shouldn't be exist at all in this world...<br /><br />Time...Bring everyone along with its flow...Except me...<br /><br />I wish that she will become a happy girl again...And I believe she will be manage to find a better one and live a happiness life...Coz she and everyone is not like a trash like me...Where existence is hated by everyone...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2936180026167689574?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-61230179989085339552010-05-13T12:25:00.002+08:002010-05-13T12:37:20.275+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Finally...Everything have ended...Exam...Feelings...Everything...<br /><br />With him officially as his BF, I also can officially retired from my job of care about her anymore...Don't say me as someone that only care about those girls that not yet couple etc. Is just that past experience teach me normally my existence in those that have BF already is vanished from their memory unless there is some problem occur, then only they will remember me back...<br /><br />After blog and blog and blog...I noticed that now this blog have become a place I really can express my feelings...Of coz talking to a friend is good but...Sometimes they always think that what I whining is just a small matter...But for me...Is as huge as Universe...But this blog won't complain anything...No matter how slow I "talk", how ridiculous my reason to be sad, it'll just listen to the very end...<br /><br />Finally I end my Gamma year already...Last year, at this very moment I also fail in Love, now is the same again...Both impact also very very hurt...Though this one is much more hurt than last year one...So confirm again the theory of looping of my fate...I wonder how many more loop I need to face? Is it really endless? Can I survive though this endless loop till the day I die? I wonder...<br /><br />As usual, I have 3 weeks to wash away all these stupid feelings...But it'll take along time...I know...But...For now I'll just assuming she still studying at Kampar, where she forget about me and I also forget about her temporary...I hope it'll help...<br /><br />Good bye Gamma! Next sem onwards is the Delta Year where my FYP is waiting for me...How will it be? Oh well...With a hog-like group mate where arguments always happen, I seriously have a bad feeling already for my next sem...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6123017998908533955?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-2919057952261882652010-05-10T20:20:00.002+08:002010-05-10T20:50:01.210+08:00我很累了...<br /><br />看到那张照片的时候，我听到了我心碎的声音...<br /><br />很痛...很痛...<br /><br />当我以为我再也不会心碎的时候，心却再一次碎了...<br /><br />的确，这一年来伤心的事情也不少....可是能够让我伤心到心碎的，是这次了...<br /><br />我知道我一点也配不起她，她是不会看我一眼的...可是...喜欢上了...有什么办法呢？<br /><br />也不是第一次了...每当我认真喜欢一个人的时候，我就知道又是我的心碎掉的时候...<br /><br />跟别人比起来，我简直就是废物！<br /><br />不够人家成熟，不够人家嘴甜，不够人家会装扮（简直老土一个），不够人家聪明...太多太多的不够...以前的我总是埋怨为何我父母生成我这样子，如此的失败！可是现在我开始了解了...命运选中了我...注定的...<br /><br />眼泪不知觉的流下来了...她的PM也是这样写着...不过我不知她是否真的在哭着...如果是的话又是为什么呢？不过我肯定的是...我在哭了...<br /><br />我很累了...我不想再心碎了...我不想再流泪了...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-291905795226188265?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-15451672545542530872010-05-06T22:41:00.000+08:002010-05-06T22:44:01.275+08:00<span style="font-size:100%;">总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩，我什么都会玩人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑容，好多人都会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当夜深人静的时候，他不知道一个人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴<br /><br />没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们就整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦！<br /><br />他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能微笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。 他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨！<br /><br />他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会另他们难过好久，他们真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。<br /><br />他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心的流着泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像是太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。<br /><br />他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越来远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接近就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说，没关系，我可以做的很好的。<br /><br />他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大。<br /><br />他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能会引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。<br /><br />他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受蛊惑 ，请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！ 如果你身边有这种人请你给予他（她）那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们...<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">一篇我超喜欢的文章...因为...有大部分里面描述的是我的性格...我觉的不多人知道吧...</span><br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1545167254554253087?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-7053092214301823562010-05-01T18:09:00.000+08:002010-05-01T18:11:28.335+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Now...A storm is raging out there...<br /><br />Thunder anywhere...Heavy rain pouring down...<br /><br />Totally match with my current mood now...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-705309221430182356?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-68854119093949062582010-05-01T13:23:00.003+08:002010-05-01T13:28:17.435+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">30/4/2010...Ice skate with friends...<br /><br />Sometimes it is proven that I'm too dark in thinking as just when I thought me and her is over liao...But then we talk like before...As nothing happened...I'm glad...<br /><br />After a day on the ice...<br /><br />Time to back to books and slides...But then I have no mood to study at all...<br /><br />Why she is getting prettier and prettier?<br />Why I can't forget about her?<br />Why I say care about her and yet I keep hurting her?<br />Why I feel so sad when I know that I am impossible to be one of her candidate?<br /><br />After a day on the ice...<br /><br />I feel so sad...<br /><br />Let it be...I'm sure this feeling will be wash away by the time...Till that time comes I will have to endure the sadness and disappointness it brings...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6885411909394906258?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-45212074799226317502010-04-21T10:13:00.002+08:002010-04-21T10:21:21.906+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I have been wonder what for I have a facebook actually?<br /><br />No ppl will see my shoutout, picture (i seldom upload it), everything...<br /><br />Maybe is just to see what my friends are doing? But it'll be just so sad isn't it?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4521207479922631750?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-51954895060778811552010-04-21T08:33:00.003+08:002010-04-21T08:41:36.774+08:00"<span style="font-style: italic;">Walking this road,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Without you,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">To remake forgotten promises and meet you at roads end.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Faded memories.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Reconstructed memories.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A dream - a dream of you,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">in a world without you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A far-off memory that's like a scattered dream.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I want to line the pieces up -</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">yours and mine.</span>"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I stand on the beach, picking up the scattered pieces of the wrecked friendship between me and her...<br /><br />Now I can only dream of her now...In a world without her...<br /><br />What's left between us now...Is probably a promise that will end on this Friday...<br /><br />After this Friday, then both of us is at the road end...We will separate path and go on our own way...<br /><br />Nothing is left between us...<br /><br />Maybe till the day I manage to line back the pieces of the ship to become whole again, we will be friend again...But then it'll no be the same anymore...<br /><br />It is not that I won't want to fight against the fate, but you see? The loop come back again and the same thing happen again...<br /><br />I wonder how many more ship will wrecked beside me?<br /><br />A dream of you...In a world without you...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-5195489506077881155?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-70904699798307551682010-04-19T16:22:00.002+08:002010-04-19T16:36:12.002+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I wonder whether I will have any friend to come to my funeral...As I keep losing them...By this losing rate I think by the time I die, I'll have no friend at all...<br /><br />I don't understand...Ever since college time till now...Why God give me a heart if I'm destined to be alone? Why I can't change like all my friend use to said to me? I don't know...Why my life is so worthless? Like a trash...A jerk...<br /><br />Why God chosen me as the bad one in this world...Where I'll be the one being hate, disgust and dislike by people...I think my life will still be happy if I don't have a heart...But I have...<br /><br />How can I throw my damn hearts away? I seriously don't want it! It is useless! Why can't a Heartless come out and stole my heart away? Didn't they need heart? I'm willing to give them!<br /><br />But in the end, God won't hear what I say and wish...If HE heard it I already enjoying my life now...Not suffer till now...<br /><br />I'll just have to walk this life, enduring all the sadness, disappointment, unluckiness till the end...<br /><br />I have to keep remind myself that no matter what I can't commit suicide...<br /><br />Ha...Pathetic isn't it? Want die also can't die...Need to endure survival in this world some more...Where I know I can't...I'm too stupid,,,To survive in this world...<br /><br />I don't want to live anymore...God please take my life away...Before I end up with no friend at all...Before I can't endure all the darkness and go break the promise go commit suicide...<br /><br />I...Don't want to feel anything at all...Anymore...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7090469979830755168?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-21653748307209638502010-04-18T22:18:00.003+08:002010-04-19T00:39:29.031+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">A second post at the same day...Right after 100th post become so hardworking already? Nah...<br /><br />I think I loss again...Another friend...Knowing her for 7 years...And yet...It still the same...<br /><br />I don't think it she will care anyway...<br /><br />Tak ada yang abadi...Nothing is forever...This sentence prove itself again...<br /><br />A friendship for 7 years also can sank...<br /><br />I would admit that is my fault again perhaps...<br /><br />I never learn isn't it?<br /><br />Is another loop again...Last time during college I was the one that friend with my junior first, then in the end I loss all of them...This time is the same also...I lost not only my junior but also a 7-years friend...<br /><br />If I know earlier this will happen, I won't even see her...If like that atleast the memories will still be sweet...See back also no hates or dislike...But now? Sigh...<br /><br />My heart pain again...But I fight it...I don't want to cry anymore because of these kind of things...I must get use to it...Because for sure this kind of pain will still coming to me...Till I die...<br /><br />But then my tears start to drop already...Even though I tell myself I must not cry...Ha...Perhaps it just some sands blow into my eyes?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2165374830720963850?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-86282283619991391772010-04-09T23:07:00.002+08:002010-04-09T23:31:53.150+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Today those feelings come back again...<br /><br />Actually those feelings never leave me since I went into my college 5 years ago...Is just that all those assignment frenzy have press down all those feelings temporary...And it have been effective as I really not feel the effect of all those feelings so much...But then...After met my friends they all come back again...<br /><br />They are like storm...Devastating every feelings I have...Make me want to cry again...<br /><br />I'm so tired...I wish to have a sleep and never wake up again...<br /><br />Tired of these feelings...Tired of always thinking the same thing over and over again...<br /><br />I wish to stop all these things...But I can't...<br /><br />Why other people says like they can do it but I can't? I don't know...<br /><br />This is not the first time I feel so hopeless in my life...<br /><br />I scare to lost anymore...I scare just now I have offended my beloved friends,,,<br /><br />It is so strange...Why I keep hurting them even though they are so dearly beloved to me? Until they leave me...And each of their leaving slice my heart each time...Yet I keep on losing...<br /><br />I scare of my future, my current...People keep saying think about now...But time flies so fast...The time you think about now a second already passed...The future have become now...Then now become past...The cycle continues...<br /><br />I seriously think that don't want to meet them again...As let them remember me as a friend rather than they don't coz of my personality again...But then I'll be alone again...<br /><br />CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE...But how?<br /><br />Why can't they understand? Do they know that I have asking this question MYSELF for how many times? Do they understand that I know perfectly well that the reason how painful my life is? Think logically, if a person have a choice will he don't do anything after knowing all those answer to make his life better? No right? But why I can't?<br /><br />They won't understand...Some are lucky as destiny lead them to change...But mine don't...<br /><br />People keep saying they can change their fate and have been try to proving them...God bless them as this is impossible...<br /><br />I don't know...What is the purpose of living a meaningless life...I don't even know why God drop me to this human world where I shouldn't belong into...And I don't think anybody person and even though I shouted and ask to the sky, I won't get any answer...<br /><br />I can just live daily...Like a walking zombie...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8628228361999139177?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-3332495727180891842010-04-06T20:13:00.002+08:002010-04-06T20:26:54.004+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Banyak perkara berlaku lagi...<br /><br />4 assignment deadline pada minggu depan...Saya tak tahu macamana la nak habiskan semua assignment dan hantar tanpa lewat sebelum semua deadline tersebut...<br /><br />Baru fail lagi satu kertas mid-term...Sedangkan kawan lain saya semua result lawa sahaja...Adui...Apa dah jadi kepada saya ni?<br /><br />Jumpa lagi dia...Tapi dengan serta merta saya anggap dia halimunan sahaja...Tak pe la...Orang yang tak ikuti janji dan hampir bawa masalah kepada saya tak berbaloi saya kawan dengan dia...<br /><br />Memang "sweet" la nampak kawan saya couple dengan seorang lagi kawan saya tu...Di sini saya berdoa bahawa mereka berdua dapat hidup bersama dengan bahagia sampai akhirat...Amin...<br /><br />Kadang-kala saya berfikir bahawa adakah apa yang saya buat sekarang berbaloi? Demi dia tergadai peluang saya untuk belajar lebih banyak...Tapi dia cuma kawan saya sahaja...Tapi ye la...Dah janji...Lelaki mesti ikuti apa yang dia janji kan? Tapi kadang-kala fikir balik...Tak tahu la...Pemikiran macam ni tak baik kut...Sebab kan itu pemikiran pentingkan sendiri?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-333249572718089184?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-84428174869021501602010-03-25T06:23:00.002+08:002010-03-25T06:33:25.405+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Time flies...<br /><br />Finally my friend getting coupled again...<br /><br />After a long time...This time her new BF is also one of my friend...I would say he is one nice guy...Plus a bit weird? Haha~<br /><br />Hope they can be together forever...<br /><br />I still can't face her...When I see her, think a bit more...The sadness will fill in my hearts and let me have a urge to cry again...<br /><br />During the cultural night, I told my friend that I came is because of Aikido and her...And she shoot my head...I kind of know what she want to meant...<br /><br />But deep inside I know, I can't...What ever feeling I have, don't ever cross the line...Coz the end will be the same...<br /><br />She will just be my friend...Now it is, future also will is...<br /><br />As this proves later that she is so busy chatting with "BF" (male friend, what will u called? Boyfriend right?) at the eating place and I even seldom talk with her...<br /><br />I never have any common thing to talk with girls...<br /><br />Actually when she came, I thought my life will be change, atleast a little...But I told myself dun expect too much...<br /><br />Indeed...Luckily I don't...<br /><br />Oh well...Now I wonder why I mumbling too much here...<br /><br />Back to my dark but reality life shall I?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8442817486902150160?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-90654290220838562202010-03-06T22:56:00.002+08:002010-03-06T23:17:45.059+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">人人总说，命运是可以改变的...<br /><br />那为什么有些人做生做死还是贫苦一生？有些人读到半生半死成绩却还是这么的差？<br /><br />难道他/她们都没有努力改变命运过吗？努力了，结果却一样...<br /><br />我的嘴与脸就像我心里的照妖镜一样...心想什么，嘴与脸就表露的一览无遗...<br /><br />朋友叫我改变，我说有些时候这样就是这样的了，她偏说这只是一个借口...<br /><br />也不能怪她...皆因她完全不知道我过去...<br /><br />多么想不要我这张脸与嘴...<br /><br />因为我这类型的脸与嘴是最不受欢迎的...坦白说，人哪里会喜欢看脸色与听直插心中的真话？<br /><br />偏偏我的脸与嘴就是这样惹人厌...我应该怎么办呢？割掉我的脸？拔掉我的舌头？改？要怎么改？心想到，嘴就出，脸就显示了...想都来不及想！除非从神经线下手吧...<br /><br />其实从以前开始就因为我的这张脸与嘴而挨多了不少鞭了...每次被爸妈打时因为总是心里觉得不服气，然后不服气就显示在脸上 -》 爸妈看到了 -》 再打多几遍...<br /><br />我想能改早就改了吧？谁会这样傻要在被父母打多几次，被朋友讨厌？<br /><br />可是呢？到现在还是一样...<br /><br />肥就是肥！瘦就是瘦！好就是好！不好就是不好！不用什么最近你有肉了啊，可以在提升之类的拐弯抹角...人家明白了还不是生气你！有分别吗？误解反而事大！<br /><br />算了...或许天注定的吧！自己对得起自己就好！<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-9065429022083856220?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-75897522000643830612010-03-04T23:45:00.002+08:002010-03-04T23:58:04.668+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Setelah lama baru saya ingat bahawa saya telah lama tinggalkan blog saya ini...Lama tak tulis, malas pun ada, tak mau tulis pun ada...Tulis pun lebih kurang sama je...<br /><br />Tahun Baru Cina telah berakhir...<br /><br />Duit angpau ada meningkat sikit la~<br /><br />Dalam musim perayaan ini ada juga melawat ke rumah guru2 semasa sekolah rendah...Gembiranya apabila jumpa balik kawan2 lama serta guru yang saya hormati...Tak banyak berubah guru2 saya, semuanya masih cantik dan muda lagi...<br /><br />Semoga Tuhan berkati kawan2 dan guru2 saya supaya boleh jumpa lagi pada masa depan...Dan harapkan lebih banyak kawan sekelas 6U dapat datang berkumpul macam ni pada masa depan...<br /><br />3 peperiksaan setengah semester telah berlalu...Keputusannya?<br /><br />Walaupun belum keluar keputusan yang rasmi namun dalam hati sendiri tahulah sendiri buat macamana...Gagallah kut...<br /><br />Kalau ayah saya tahu bahawa peperiksaan macam ni saja pun boleh gagal...Nahaslah saya...Mungkin tak de nyawa kut balik MMU belajar...<br /><br />Tapi entah kenapalah...Saya langsung tak de mood nak belajar...Sebelum peperiksaan saya siap boleh baca komik lagi...Alahai....Apa dah jadi ni?<br /><br />Adakah ini kerana saya semakin tak ada niat nak teruskan kehidupan saya? Sampai pelajaran ini pun saya nak lepaskan?<br /><br />Tak tahu la...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7589752200064383061?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-28317581552757808092010-01-18T11:39:00.004+08:002010-01-18T11:46:39.047+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Result out...<br /><br />And I stunned in front of the PC screen for a while...<br /><br />Brain keep saying:<br /><br />"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"<br /><br />"ONLY B? NOT EVEN AN A? ONLY 2 SUBJECTS!"<br /><br />"OTHER PEOPLE GET A+ WHILE TAKING 3 SUBJECTS!"<br /><br />"WHAT HAPPEN?"<br /><br />My CGPA drop again...My father scold again...My heart get bereave again...<br /><br />Why? Why all these things keep happen to me?<br /><br />For past 3 years, I live an almost lonely life...So I told myself maybe is because to get good result, u must exchange it for getting good result...<br /><br />Fine! I said...<br /><br />But now?<br /><br />GONE! ALL GONE! EVEN THE RESULT ALSO GONE FROM ME!<br /><br />How much more I have to lose before I die?<br /><br />Family?<br />Health?<br />Wealth?<br /><br />WHY? WHY I'M THE UNLUCKY ONE?<br /><br />But human can't answer me...God can't hear me...<br /><br />How many more times my heart need to get bereave before I die?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2831758155275780809?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-66045522644875139252010-01-07T00:42:00.003+08:002010-01-07T01:15:32.404+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Have you make any promises before? I sure everybody make promises before...<br /><br />Now let me ask you...How many of them you manage to fulfill?<br /><br />All? Congratulation! You have earn my utmost respect!<br /><br />If not...How many you not managed to fulfill?<br /><br />Nowadays, a promise is just so weak...<br /><br />A simple example:<br /><br />A: "Tonight let's go out together Yam Cha la! Long time no see liao!"<br /><br />B: "Ha? But I have family gathering wo?"<br /><br />A: "Haiya...Family everyday can see wan ma~Me and you long time no see each other liao! Come la!"<br /><br />B: "............Ok la! So meet at where and what time?"<br /><br />A: "OK! We meet at XXXX, X.XXpm! Not see you not leaving!"<br /><br />B: "Ok!"<br /><br />And so B tell his parent that he can't go because of want to go meet his friends...And so after he prepared everything, the moment B want to go...A call B:<br /><br />A: "Hallo! B a? Sorry a! Suddenly my other more long time not see de friends want meet me leh! So today gathering cancel la! You understand my situation de la! K? Next time we go out again k? Sorry!"<br /><br />And so A hang up...<br /><br />If you are B at that time, what will you feel?<br /><br />The answer maybe:<br /><br />I. Never-mind, It is normal already<br />II. Angry<br />III. Very angry<br /><br />What will your answer be?<br /><br />Before I say anything else, I just want to ask you all a question:<br /><br />"Do you think what A doing is right/correct?"<br /><br />The answer may vary to each person...<br /><br />Let's go back to the what will you feel at that time shall we?<br /><br />If your answer is II and III, then in nowadays situation, you may have some problem...<br /><br />Why? Coz if you angry/very angry, you'll just labeled by your friend as "STINGY"...Which also mean he is the one that break promise YET he is not wrong at all! YOU as the one victim coz of broken promise is the one who GUILTY!<br /><br />If you say he/she is wrong and not considerate, he.she will just say you are one stingy person, with all his/her friends as backup saying the same thing to you...<br /><br />Sadly nowadays this kind of situation happen so often between friends, some even between couples!<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">PROMISE IS SO WEAK...</span><br /><br />Let's look at another situation:<br /><br />A: "Sorry disturb you B...But my PC got problem and it still got warranty so I hope to go to XXXX to claim warranty...But the problem is I don't have any transport to go there and some more if take by my own is a bit far to walk...So...Can you bring me over there with your car? Of coz I can pay you petrol money! Plz! I'm facing assignment due date now..."<br /><br />B: "Hmm...Like that a...Can la! I wan go out to XXX also...So on this XXXX, X.XXam then!"<br /><br />A: "Thanks! Bro!"<br /><br />Before the day, B call A:<br /><br />B: "Hey! Sorry la! I lazy to drive to go there la! So I go with my friends transport also...But the problem is my friends transport already full liao...So sorry k?"<br /><br />If you were A at that time, where your PC got problem and you can't do your assignment while the due date is near...What will you feel?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">PROMISE IS SO WEAK...</span><br /><br />Let's look at another situation:<br /><br />A and B chatting MSN:<br /><br />A: "Hey what ever I tell you today dun tell others ok?"<br /><br />B: "Sure la! I also tell my secret to you liao! Dun worry! My lips is zipped!"<br /><br />Few days later A is shocked when the secret he talk at that time is not a secret anymore...As he only tell B the secret A confront B...<br /><br />A: "Hey! How come now everybody know the secret? I thought we promise not to tell others people?"<br /><br />B: "Aiya...Lip slipped ma...But I swear I'm not doing it on purpose k?"<br /><br />A:"....................... (But I keep your secret...)"<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">PROMISE IS SO WEAK!</span></span><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6604552264487513925?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-72371495617262192192010-01-01T21:30:00.002+08:002010-01-01T21:37:19.310+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">The first post in this new year...<br /><br />Nothing special today...<br /><br />At home...Do nothing~<br /><br />Parents go out while I stay at home, play games + sleep...<br /><br />Make me wonder whether I'll be more fat or not once the sem breaks ends...<br /><br />No celebration...Nothing...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sugar, Bread, Black soybeans price increased....<br /><br />Can't sell black soybeans water anymore since the cost too high...<br /><br /><br /><br />Already a bad sign in this new year...<br /><br /><br />My friends saying was right...<br /><br />If the meaning of my life is just to make my parents life easier at their old age, so be it...<br /><br />Atleast have to repay their kindness towards me all this long...<br /><br />Which also means I have still a long way to endure all the sadness, loneliness, disappointment and many other bad things before they all can end with my dead...<br /><br />Oh well...I'm just one of the unlucky yet lucky person in this world...<br /><br />Lucky if compare to those African people...<br /><br />Unlucky if compare to most of my friends...Oops! Should say...<br /><br />"So-Called Friends"<br /><br />I pray so that my family can safe and peace forever...<br /><br />Amin...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7237149561726219219?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-17553047060609874622009-12-30T23:56:00.003+08:002009-12-31T00:18:43.377+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Finally...2009 will end...And here comes 2010...I manage to stay alive again for another year...<br /><br />Many things happens...But as usual...More sad things happen to me...<br /><br />I have become more and more non-exist in this world...Though I no need to wonder why...<br /><br />Result drop like HELL...Now the ONLY thing that I can proud of also gone...<br /><br />I cannot find any more meaning to continue live in this world...If I'm not believe that commit suicide will 100% sure be in HELL, I would have already done it without regret...<br /><br />Too many misery in my life...Until I don't even know why at the first place God let me birth at this world...Is it because to keep the balance of lucky one and unlucky one so I exist to be the unlucky one?<br /><br />I do understand that I just so unlucky that I have been pick to become the unlucky one...But...<br /><br />I...Seriously don't want to care anymore...But why my heart keep doing the opposite? Those so-called friends that keep forget my existence should being hated by me! Yet I still care about them...How many more times my hearts need to be broken then only I can become a true HEARTLESS?<br /><br />I seriously don't wish to live anymore...I don't even hope to type anything at 31/12/2010 coz I hope at that time I already died...<br /><br />God...Please...You are welcome to take my life anytime legally (Accident, Fire or anything EXCEPT ask me to commit suicide)<br /><br />Oh ya...Happy New Year! (Sarcastically speaking)<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1755304706060987462?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-29921945470692910732009-12-21T23:52:00.002+08:002009-12-22T00:00:41.411+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I always believe/accept other people words without much thinking...Maybe is because I believe they never have such time to tell a lies...But in reality, it doesn't...Some of them are lies, some of them aren't...<br /><br />How to differentiate them actually? I found it quite hard...Maybe coz I am stupid...Or I too believe on other people...<br /><br />Sad isn't it? I'm human, they are human, we are suppose to be the same...Yet we hurt each other...No matter by words and weapons...Words can be as deadly as weapons too...<br /><br />I seriously don't understand...One second you can say this and this and this, another second u can change that statement into that and that and that...Which one I should believe?<br /><br />No wonder some people won't even believe other people...<br /><br />If that's the case, I rather deal with animals...Coz they won't lie as seriously as humans...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2992194547069291073?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-31181841820608965962009-12-07T22:57:00.002+08:002009-12-07T23:08:31.514+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">The more I lived, the more hopeless I am...<br /><br />They already forgive me...But I haven't...<br /><br />My heart still pain so much when I think about them...My eyes will full of tears and if not careful, I will cry again...<br /><br />One of the previous girl that I liked is getting married...She asked me:"How about you?"<br /><br />Another question that I seriously hate to answer...<br /><br />I hope that one day I can answer this question proudly:"I'm still Single"<br /><br />I seriously envy other people...Their result damn good, with damn good skill also...Many friends...Happy always...While me, result bad, skill sucks, social life sucks...<br /><br />Sometimes if happiness don't belong to you, no matter how hard you try, it just won't follow you...<br /><br />You can change your fate? Bullshit!<br /><br />No one can change his/her own destiny, if he/she can, it is just because his/her destiny destined he/she can.<br /><br />2010 coming, I wonder whether I can survive for another year or not...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3118184182060896596?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-50106141226103913012009-11-17T13:29:00.002+08:002009-11-17T13:46:50.123+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">No matter how I want to run away...<br />No matter how many I tried to do...<br /><br />I finally understand that...<br /><br />If your fate is destined to be in the darkness, then you can't change it...It is just like that...<br /><br />Every person personality is difference...But the majority of them should have some in common...That's what that build the society and group of friends.<br /><br />So if unfortunately your personality is totally different at all with them, then you can't and won't find a way to go into the group and society...You're just alone...In your own world...Where not even suppose to exist...<br /><br />I just realize that a promise can be broken so easily and this kind of thing is just so normal...I even have done it many times but I just didn't realize it...No wonder she say I'm stupid...<br /><br />Many people will just say I'm too counting on tiny little thing...And for most of the people like this, they'll just hated by most people...<br /><br />I wonder why I'm this kind of people and not the majority type that is good?<br /><br />Maybe is because I'm so unlucky to be the one that disliked by most person...<br /><br />I don't have a choice now...<br /><br />I bear the name of a Nobody for so long and yet...What I'm doing now is not what a Nobody should do...<br /><br />A Nobody should feel nothing, have no emotion at all as they don't have a heart...They only react based on their past memories...Which they will look like they have emotions is just because to fool others and also themselves...<br /><br />Nobody will care on what I feel...Isn't it?<br /><br />This is the only way for unlucky me...To go on till the day God willing to end my pity life...<br /><br />From now on, I will bear the name Xonos correctly! I won't bear any emotions anymore! Such emotions like Sorrow, Angry, Jealous, Sad and other I won't have anymore! I will become a true Nobody!<br /><br />Till the day I died...Or if God pity me, give me Light...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-5010614122610391301?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-88879967997878495122009-05-22T01:17:00.000+08:002009-05-22T01:19:32.962+08:00<p>Jalan hidup telah memilih<br />menurunkan aku ke bumi<br />Hari berganti dan berganti<br />aku diam tak memahami<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"></span><br />Mengapa hidup begitu sepi<br />apakah hidup spt ini<br />Mengapa ku selalu sendiri<br />apakah hidupku tak berarti</p> <p>Coba bertanya pada manusia<br />tak ada jawabnya<br />Aku bertanya pada langit pula</p><p><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Langit tak mendengar</span></span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8887996799787849512?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-2455843644625182302009-05-21T01:16:00.003+08:002009-05-21T01:45:12.197+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Well...Currently in exam week...Just after Maths II and Data "Stuck"...Well...With my normal over pessimistic mind I would like to say: "Ohh...I'm gonna die this time..."<br /><br />Sometimes is good to be pessimistic, as the more u hope, the more pain u'll receive if that thing u hope not happen...So I always pessimistic...But it seems that that kind of mind also keep ppl away...<br /><br />Sometimes I also think why I so dark...But luckily no matter how many times I said I want to jump la, die la, hung la I still appear everyday in my classroom...Meet friends...Hallo...Haha...Hehe...Walau...Etc...<br /><br />Just read back my posts in my blog...Sometimes is quite odd to see what u wrote before...Well...From there I know that I not follow what I wrote before in my blog such as being a Heartless, distance myself, won't tackle girls anymore etc. Hmm...Quite useless isn't it? Even things that I promise to myself can't even fulfill it...<br /><br />Maybe heart is not controlled by me de ba? Or just maybe I'm too weak...To even control my heart...<br /><br />Few days ago, just call my friend to talk...Well originally is want to talk about all my sad feelings de...But when she answer the call, suddenly a thinking come to me saying that, well, talk to her is useless anyway...So end up not talking much at all...<br /><br />Now...I think I don wan talk those things to my friends le...But knowing myself so much, I'm sure I'll just talk talk talk again and annoy other ppl again...Just like those early sem friends that already so annoy of me and...Kind of leave me...Already...<br /><br />Feel so lonely...I scare to talk all these thingy to any of my friends now...But...Endure them all is so...Haiz...But now even her I also dun wan to talk liao...<br /><br />I think my heart is closing now...Suddenly feel like don wan to meet all my old friends...Scare...Is best to leave them...Unchanged...I scare every meeting will change something...When I see them all so happiness, suddenly I feel is best to avoid them now...My existance just make the photo not beautiful...With my ugly face...<br /><br />(Yet my closing heart didn't close my feelings of love...I hope it would...)<br /><br />Here I am again...Thinking negatif again...I don know how only I can change my thinking...I know this is totally not good...Once too over...Well...U all will see me at tomorrow newspaper state that what is the cause of my death...Yet...I can't find any way to change that...<br /><br />Haiz...Listening to my favourite song - Mimpi Yang Sempurna...I love sang that song when I'm alone in the night...That song really suits my mood so much till I can listen so many times without problem of boringness...But the prob the more I heard the more tendency I'll cry...Haha...<br /><br />I...Seriously...Don know...What is the purpose God created me at the first place...Other than to torture me in this world...<br /><br />I think I'll just post all my feelings in my blog...rather than friends...Is ok anyway ppl boring with my darkness blog and no ppl will come anymore to read it...Atleast blog won't boring with me...Not like people...They will...Even friends will...And leave u in the end...<br /><br />P/S : She is not alone...But I am...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-245584364462518230?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-79217028583786400172009-05-12T00:16:00.002+08:002009-05-12T00:24:55.343+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I always betray what I have said before...Maybe that is the cause my pain getting more and more and more...And making everyone unhappy...<br /><br />Distance myself...Silence my mouth...Live as lone self...<br /><br />I think this way will make my life more suffer...Yet will make other happier...Those ppl already tired of me...Don want to see me already...Yet I keep be with them...Sorry...<br /><br />No more words...As no more ears willing to listen...As I never understand ppl...They also won't understand me either...<br /><br />Maybe even I die they also won't understand...Who would understand a trash feelings anyway isn't it? Who would bother to understand isn't it? Who would accompany a trash isn't it?<br /><br />SHHHHHHHHHH! Yes! I should silence! If not I'll just make more ppl unhappy...Sorry! Sorry!<br /><br />No more words...No more dreams...No more happiness...What left of me...What left of me...Now?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7921702858378640017?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-48480643774256766912009-04-28T19:13:00.003+08:002009-04-28T19:41:39.119+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">我的室友们...现在已经兴高采烈的谈着他们要为他们的新房间弄些什么了...可是我呢？却可能没地方住...现在的房间其实应该不难找，可是问题在于租金实在是贵到我简直租不下手...他们的租金却便宜到可以考虑增加他们家的Internet Bandwidth！<br /><br />我承认我是觉得很不爽！哪里不是？全部都有的住了剩下我一个在这边愁！尤其是当他们说的兴高彩烈是我的心简直就是难过到死！老实说如果连Hostel Appeal都失败的话，那我考虑停学一个学期好了！等我找到住的地方了才继续修读...说是说的好听我只是住Ampang，如果跑高速大道大概半小时就到MMU了...问题就是我没有自己的交通工具！如果每天用公共交通的话，我每一天平均要浪费六个小时来回！听着！是六个小时！六个小时可以做很多很多东西了！我家庭又不是很有钱！我爸妈赚到的只够我家每个月费用而已！而且幸亏的是我拿奖学金，要不然我爸妈根本没能力让我再读下去，只能到SPM吧了...现在我也尽量不在拿我爸妈的钱了，完全是用奖学金那边的吧了...看到他们这样辛苦赚钱我不想再增加他们的负担了！<br /><br />为什么天总是这样的？还嫌我命运不够背是不是？昨天明明有希望了，房租也蛮便宜的，却偏偏最后一刻房主说已经有人订了...真好啊！天！这就是你给我的生日礼物吗？真是好啊！<br /><br />现在我不知该怎么办了...别人有能力并不代表我有！我能在MMU读书已经是极限了！<br /><br />最近学业又这么差，真的是茫然了...或许我应该做工而不是读书的，又或许我连做工也不行，只是社会的其中一个垃圾！<br /><br />P/S : 谢谢你们所有人的Wishes， 但是我开心不起来...因为时间决定不再重复自己，而是变得更糟糕...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4848064377425676691?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-71236801651444878902009-04-27T23:42:00.003+08:002009-04-28T00:27:50.662+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">10 minites~<br /><br />Almost birthday lu~Finally I managed to survive another one year...Yet I really not sure whether I can survive till next year...<br /><br />Today...Really bad mood till want to kill everyone...Now my hostel room mate and friends all got house liao...With a cheap rent some more but me? Alone! Struggling to find a living place next semester! Hostel application failed! Have to appeal...But appeal chances looks like so low...And I just can't afford the expensive price of other single room out there...<br /><br />Assignment? Wait die...Test? Almost failed...Social life? Still alone...Relationship? If social already so teruk then I guess u should know the answer...<br /><br />I really trash till no ppl want...What is my mistakes again? Can't they just tell them out??? is it so haaaaard to tell me? Why all ppl love to keep everythng inside and straight away punish me de? I don know anything! Sorry to say that I not genius lo! How I know whether I done something wrong or not if u all not telling me?<br /><br />F*&amp;K la! Why I so useless? Because I so useless that's why I need to clinging and beg others help! If I have power! If I have money! If I am clever! I can live on my own! I no need live under other ppl faces! I hate myself! I so hate myself! Why a trash that have this kind of destiny live with uselessness??? Why I have HEARTS???<br /><br />Time is no more looping itself...Just turn to WORSE...And looping itself again or turn to even worse...I know my fate...Maybe I'll just end up in Cyberjaya Lake afterall! U all can say how about those ppl that suffer in Africa where nothing to eat etc. Aha! So good of u all isn't it? Compare to those who worse than u to make urself happy? No wonder ppl often says that:" Self happinness often build upon other person pain..."<br /><br />5 minutes more...<br /><br />I never understand people...Never have...Never will...<br /><br />This world is too complicated for me to stay alive...I dun wan live in this world...<br /><br />Why God choosen me as one of the unlucky ones?<br /><br />And why God dun let me die early? So that I no need to suffer anymore?<br /><br />I DON WAN LIVE ANYMORE! I DON WAN I DON WAN!!!!!<br /><br />GOD DO U HEAR ME? I DON WAN!<br /><br />Happy Birthday to me...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7123680165144487890?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-87366276653822456842009-04-22T22:09:00.002+08:002009-04-22T22:23:38.336+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Well...There have been a long time didn't come here...Haha...<br /><br />Last Sunday went to Sungai Klah Hot Spring...Nice trip...Fun...But its consequences - Sunburn which lead to constant skin pain... ><""<br /><br />Really no mood at all...Of course la...Just lost half of the full mark of Math test II...Sick some more...Walau...My life have never been better isn't it?<br /><br />Love to hear so many old songs recently...Especially Akon's Lonely, Peterpan's Mimpi Yang Sempurna, Tertinggalkan Waktu and Taman Langit. Well...All are sad song...Lonely...Never achieved dreams...<br /><br />But the more I think, the more I think that I shouldn't sad at the fact that I'm quite lonely...As I already not suite to being in a group of friends...I already used to it...My heart already closed to others...Just myself...I can't find any other common topic between friends...Even though I will always envy other friends that in a group but in the other side I already have a thought that I not same with them after all...<br /><br />Hmm...What else I have anyway? Even the academic that I have proud of before this also gone...Everything left me...Even time...<br /><br />Waiting...Till life also leave me...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8736627665382245684?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-48369742437446731662009-04-11T23:19:00.004+08:002009-04-11T23:39:20.454+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">No mood at all...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Hate at my own useless...Hate at my stupidness...Hate how I looks like...Hate that I have a heart...Hate that I have feeling...Hate at my own existence...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Why can't my heart as peace as lake water? Why I'm such a trash?<br /></div><br />I so tired...So tired...I dun wan all these feelings...I dun wan to face all these...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Why I'm so afraid of loneliness? Even though I'll be with it forever...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">No common topic with her at all...Just make her feel worse always...What's the point?<br /></div><br />So afraid to talk with girl that already<br /><div style="text-align: center;">belongs to others...For me is better that keeping a distance...So that no trouble will be caused...No mistake will be done...<br /><br />The older we are...The more distance we are...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Everything is not the same again...Will not be the same again...<br /></div> </div><br />What's left of me...In the end...Is loneliness...Memories...And darkness...But what I really hope the most...Is without the hearts...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Tears...<br /><div style="text-align: left;">Drops...<br /><div style="text-align: right;">Where?<br /><div style="text-align: center;">Is my?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Belongs?<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I WISH THAT I NEVER EVER EXISTED!</span></span></span><br /></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4836974243744673166?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-45044328220585282642009-04-08T17:03:00.003+08:002009-04-08T17:52:53.346+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Wow...There have been a long long time I didn't update my blog...Well...Busy breezy~<br /><br />OK...Sum up a bit...<br /><br />Intro to Machine -> Go to Hell la! Study de not come out but not study de come out! Die liao la!<br />Algo Milestone 2 -> Not completed...Marks gone...<br /><br />Erm...Not add that I'm having migraine again and headache till now...And still in bad mood...Well I guess this kind of mood will be with me forever anyway so...<br /><br />Well...Quite few things happen recently...My friends having a quarrel...God bless them can become friends back...Some friends fail in love while some of them finally get it...(Congratz! SE and Min!)Some of them so bad mood while I can't help...One of them want to go die like what I have think before...(Even though now I also I still think want to jump lake sometimes)Well see all those things, have give me some thoughts...<br /><br />I never understand people...Never have...never will...Do u all can understand others? For me the reason is I don know what their thinking is a.k.a I don know what they want...Since I can't read other ppl mind so I won't know unless they tell them all out...<br /><br />Now...Really want to ask u all...Is it really too difficult to tell ur friend if they done anything wrong or make u unhappy coz of certain things straight away with no delay? Well if u don mind all those then is good la, but the problem is mostly u do care...And care so much too...But u didn't tell ur friend that what his/her doing make u unhappy etc. So days pass by, and ur anger keep storing of what your friends doing...So finally when u can't endure liao, u release all ur rage out and ur friend will die without knowing what is the reason...Yes they will know...But that time friendship already being bombed by all those rage and start to sinking a bit...That if u r lucky, but most of the time it'll sinken to the bottom of the sea and can't be saved...What a happy ending right?<br /><br />Is it really too hard? To say it staight away? Why need to store all these? Oooo...Thought that he/she should know wan la? Should know what u don like or what u like la? U thought he/she is what? Got super power to see ur mind on what u wan or don want? Why every ppl also like this de? Always want to keep inside till the last second then only explode, and then friendship died...<br /><br />Do u all know that how many friendship ended just like that? One big rage-release quarrel and the friendship sink or destroyed...Is this what everyone wan? If not then why everyone doing it? Why everyone thought that we know everything de? Each person confirm got his/her own weakness wan ma...Different values and views ma...Need reminder de ma...<br /><br />I have too much of all these experience...My last room mate...My classmate...I really don understand lo! Anything just tell me la! Dun keep inside till last only explode...Then friends also not liao...<br /><br />If after u tell them they no change also, then is really ur friends fault liao...Since you have tell them...Is them who don wan to change...<br /><br />Change to another topic...Well u all know Love is in the Air all the time(Hmph!) But for me is only for people la...Since I believe trash don have love and I'm one of them, so I understand Love won't find me...Some of my friends couple le! Good Luck o! Wish they all can be together forever! (Oh God! Please listen to my pray...Coz I too sad to hear another love failure story...)<br /><br />I'm so bad till no difference as a trash...No? How many ppl really like me anyway...One of the question that I most HATE to answer is "Ei? U no couple meh?" Well normally my answer is "I no ppl wan..." But the next statement is one that hurt me the most..."Cheh! U not try nia ma! U try confirm can get wan!" Waaaa...I never try? I have tried a lot...But yet everytime I failed so badly till I don have the will to live anymore...Till I have to admin that I'm just a useless trash...A trash that no ppl wan...Well...Atleast my family still wan me la...But for girls is a "NAH" for them...<br /><br />Well I'm getting to become no feelings liao...That is good since that's what i suppose to be...God is justice de...When there is couple till dead, there will be Single till dead...And I'm just the unfortunate one that will Single till dead...Nevermind, I accept that...Is better maybe since I can treat my parents better...All those money that I suppose to spend on my family I can use to help the poors...<br /><br />Academic? Want die liao la...No mood to talk about that also...<br /><br />That's a long one...Wondering how many ppl read till this line anyway...Haha...But better wonder who will read my blog better...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4504432822058528264?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-61766058476846546482009-03-27T21:57:00.002+08:002009-03-27T22:02:01.090+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">For those who havn't know, 28/3/2009 is Earth Hour Day. Where the participants will shut down the lights for one hour from 8.30pm til 9.30pm. So hope every friends that view this blog can follow this activities. Is time for us to save the Earth!<br /><br />Do remind that is can shut down every electrical devices. As they consume energy too, not just lights. Of course if refrigerator will be a problem and maybe u can't...But other devices like PC, Air-cone, fans etc.<br /><br />And also please don't because you shut the light off of your house and u go out with vehicles...U just release more C2O to the environment...Why not just going out and feel the fresh air or chit-chat together?<br /><br />Hope everyone can join this event!<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6176605847684654648?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-25311424136403768212009-03-27T21:47:00.002+08:002009-03-27T21:54:53.721+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Recently the forbid of using the word "Allah" for Christian have make me wonder...Which side says was true? Christian says that is free to use the word but Islam side says it isn't...<br /><br />I'll be gladful if someone either from Islamic side or Christian side can leave their answer a.k.a comment in this post...But I want to say my view first...<br /><br />For me, the name of God is depends on each religion...Like Buddha in Buddhism and Lord Shiva in Hindu. Ok...Now the problem is, we all know that the name of the God in Islam is Allah. I don't know what is the name of God in Christian anyway but for me, it will be so strange if I call Buddha as Allah in Buddhism or Shiva as Allah in Hindu right? Just an example. I do believe that Christian 's God have His own name, so what for the Christian use the Islam's God name? Wouldn't it be confusing? Or the Christian just want to tell everyone that actually Christian and Islam have the same God? If it is then why there are different teaching?<br /><br />For me, if Christian side want to say something about Islam and have to use the word "Allah", then it is fine but if want to use that word to refer the Christian God, it is just too strange...<br /><br />Any comment are welcomed...TQ.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2531142413640376821?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-15518529520384313512009-03-13T00:27:00.002+08:002009-03-13T01:07:17.386+08:00Well...Today...2 bad things happen to me...<br /><br />1. Wallet gone...At the Library...Cost me more than RM100...And another bad record for my lost of IC...<br /><br />2. Maths II test failed...Even though the test have been just finished, but plz la guys and girls! Common sense k? 2 question that consists of 8 marks I write not even 5 lines! Expect what?<br /><br />Why this world is so "wonderful"? Wonderful till so many "good" thing happening to me? Heh heh...<br />Can't expect anything better than that...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1551852952038431351?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-87259552824116693952009-03-08T17:39:00.004+08:002009-03-08T18:29:18.954+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes this world is so unfair isn't it? Even though we always says that "Don't judge a book by its cover", but the truth is, we all always did...My friends did...Everyone did...<br /><br />"U should change your look you know?" That's the sentence I often get from others...Or the answer they give to me when I ask them why I no ppl wan...<br /><br />I mean...Is the looks really that important? Don't they all realize that looks can be deceiving? How their face looks like not always reflect what their hearts are...I see some example where some beautiful girl is just treating boy as a tool and not considering others BUT sarcastically she have many fans while a not-so-beautiful girl is such a caring girl but yet no ppl wan...<br /><br />Well...I think my inner side is not that good either...Atleast I think others think like that...And maybe some other ppl may ask: "How about you? I believe you are the same after all!" Well...Maybe...But atleast I won't mind friend with someone that is not so beautiful/handsome and I not always like someone that so beautiful...I like someone that is fat and not-so-beautiful b4...Atleast the current one is a bit fat...(Or fat? Haha...)Erm yet I think she not like me so...Sigh...<br /><br />Anyway I can say that I'm quite stupid...Most of the time I think everyone is a kind and good person(I mean it! Most of the time!) Well...I must admit that there is a exception case where if that person have too much "evil" on his face then I might judge him the other way round...But the problem is, some of my speculation is correct but some can go awfully wrong! I already astounish by some fella that exceed my expectation where what they do is totally different with what they looks like! They are handsome, they are cute and beautiful...But what they did is just almost same with a bad person!<br /><br />A person with a kind heart...Is not neccessary come with a beautiful/handsome face...Is a lesson for me...And I hope for those who read this blog too...Give those ppl a chance will u all? Is so unfair that because of their face, they get ignored even though they are so kind...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8725955282411669395?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-33013299864293556572009-03-02T16:18:00.002+08:002009-03-02T16:38:21.879+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I don know wat else can I say...Just feel like dun wan to live anymore...<br /><br />Algo Assignment sucks! While other doing well...Study SUCKS while other understand...<br /><br />Don tell me compare with others that worse than me! Wat for u compare with the worse one? Just to feel better? I not that selfish! Build my own happiness out of other ppl weakness! I hopeless and useless! This is the fact!<br /><br />I only know if this continue, I'll never have a good life in the future...Coz there are too many cream on the top students out there and also in MMU...If I can only get a secretary-alike job, I might as well give up on my study now and straight away work isn't it? The result will just be the same...<br /><br />I found out that I dun have any reason to live...This is not the first time I feel it...I don know what is the reason that God even let me exist in this world...One of the source that make my parents worry and sad...Nuisance to the others...This world will be better off without me, right? My existence...Is already proved that it bring trouble more than build...If like that what for I exist? I should be eliminated at once! So that this world will be far more better! Without all the trashes like me!<br /><br />Can U take my life away at once? So that easy for me, hence easy for the others too!<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3301329986429355657?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-36632284614168471762009-02-22T00:38:00.002+08:002009-02-22T01:20:07.189+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Sometimes is not that I don't want to put title...Is just that I don't know what to put...<br /><br />She is studying in MMU Cyberjaya now...I can't believe that after all this time, me and she still end up in the same university...Even though I try to evade her yet want to see her...<br /><br />But I know that me and her can't be friend anymore...As I hurt her too much...I think she even don want to see me anymore...Wish that I never exist in this world...Haha...I also wish that I never exist in this world, too...<br /><br />Seeing the online list of my WLM, yet I can't start a simple conversation...Coz I have nothing to chat with...Sometimes I wonder what for I have WLM and YM...Well of course sometimes can chat a long time...But just that...Feel a bit lost...<br /><br />Tension...Of all this stupid assignments...Maths is a majot problem here...Others not doing any better either...Feeling just want to jump off the building...<br /><br />But <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">WAIT</span>! God forbid people take their own life! Great! So I have to live no matter what...Actually other than the reason that God create me I don know what other reason I exist in this world...Just a nuisance to others...Is the existance of mine is to annoy other peeple? Or to shows others how good they are? Coz to show the good there must exist bad...Maybe...Maybe...<br /><br />Some people may wonder why I'm so dark...As this world still exist many wonderful things...BUt the prob is...Those things seldom happens to me...But all those not happy things keep happening...But I know there are also some ppl out there that same or even worse than me but still live happily...(Are they exist? Or is that you? Let me know plz!) Kudos to them! If they exist...<br /><br />Do u know that my heart will bleed and the tears will start to drop when I thinking of you? How regret I am...How I hope I can redeem all my sins...All those stupid wrong things that I have done to you...<br /><br />Yet I think the mistake is repeating...The time is repeating...Looping...I trap within it...Can't escape...The pain...The sadness...Looping...Can't escape...When I can free from this loop? Dead maybe...But how long then I only die? How much longer I need to endure?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3663228461416847176?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-82422037191703983322009-02-19T00:56:00.003+08:002009-02-19T01:04:59.787+08:00下雨了...在这个宁静的夜晚里...望着被雨迷蒙的夜景；听着滴答滴答的雨之曲...我闭上了眼睛，静静的享受这片宁静...<br /><br />啊...雨啊...如果你能洗掉我心中的黑暗...该多好...<br /><br />闭上眼睛...静听雨曲...<br />盼雨洗净...心中暗曲...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8242203719170398332?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-23696490662538993232009-02-18T11:00:00.003+08:002009-02-18T11:08:26.185+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Haiz...Not doing well again in my Math II Quiz...I'm always worst in my Maths...Even I do how many exercise also...Just like my Maths I last time...<br /><br />Tension...So tension...Reports and reports...SE FundaMENTALs almost make me become MENTAL...Ethics report make me want to sleep...Maths II make me just want to jump down and die...Data Struct not doing any good to me either...What is that assignment about? Intro to Machine? Almost died under the "machine gun"...<br /><br />What a semester...Wonder whether I can survive this sem or not...<br /><br />Aaaaarghhhhhhh!!!!!<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2369649066253899323?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-51360511271069860762009-02-13T23:09:00.002+08:002009-02-13T23:40:32.456+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"> Rasanya semua orang pun tau...Bahawa tiba la Hari yang penuh dengan Love...So called "Loves is in the Air"...Yup! Apa lagi Valentine Day la! Di mana pada hari itu kamu boleh nampak merata-ratanya couple dan bunga mawar...Kemungkinan juga banyak 'accident' akan berlaku pada hari tersebut...Faham2 jela apa maksud 'accident' tu...Dan juga parti2 bujang yang dikhaskan kepada orang yang masih bujang...Ye la...Kalau nampak betapa manisnya orang lain couple tapi sendiri bersendirian tu...Memang la sakit hati sikit...<br /><br /> Tapi kamu semua tau tak apa asal usul Valentine Day? Haa! Sebenarnya ada beberapa pendapat pasal asal usul Valentine Day :<br /><br /><ol><li>Perkataan 'Valentine' diambil sempena nama seorang paderi besar Kristian pada zaman pemerintahan Ratu Isabella di Sepanyol, iaitu Saint Valentine. Beliau disayangi kerana telah berjaya menumpaskan kerajaan Islam di Cordova, Sepanyol pada 14 Februari 270 Masihi.<br /><br />Kejayaan itu begitu bermakna kepada Ratu Isabella, dan dengan itu 14 Februari disambut setiap tahun oleh rakyat Cordova bagi merayakan kemenangan tersebut degan menamakannya sebagai Hari Valentine.<br /><br /></li><li>Berasal daripada pesta sambutan kaum Rom kuno yang dipanggil 'Lupercalia', yang bermula pada abad ketiga sebelum Masihi. Lupercalia adalah upacara penyucian diri yang diadakan pada 14 Februari. Pada hari itu, mereka akan menyembah dewi cinta yang bernama Juno Februata.<br /><br />Pada malam Lepercalia, nama-nama gadis Rom ditulis di atas kertas dan dimasukkan ke dalam sebuah bekas. Kemudian setiap pemuda akan mencabut nama tersebut dari dalam bekas secara rawak. Nama gadis yang tertera di dalam kertas tersebut akan menjadi pasangan hiburan 'Ahem' selama setahun.<br /><br /></li><li>Dikaitkan dengan kematian paderi St.Valentine ketika pemerintahan Raja Rom yang bernama Claudius II (268-270). Dikatakan St.Vlentine enggan mematuhi arahan Raja Claudius agar membatalkan semua perkahwinan dan pertunangan kerana Rom banyak terlibat di dalam peperangan dan memerlukan pemuda2 sebagai tentera.<br /><br />Malah St.Valentine telah mengahwinkan orang2 Kristian dengan pasangan mereka secara rahsia menyebabkan raja tersebut murka, lalu dihukum bunuh.<br /><br /></li><li>Dikatakan juga ketika pemerintahan Claudius II ini, kerajaan Rom yang menyembah dewa-dewi amat memusuhi penganut agama Kristian dan para mubaligh Kristian telah dipenjara serta diseksa, termasuk St.Valentine.<br /><br />Semasa di dalam penjara, St. Valentine telah jatuh cinta dengan anak salah seorang pegawai penjara dan sebelum dibunuh, beliau sempat menulis sepucuk surat cinta kepada gadis tersebut yang bertandatangan 'From your Valentine'<br /><br /></li><li>Diambil daripada nama seorang paderi yang paling berpengaruh pada zaman pemerintahan Isabella dari Sepanyol iaitu St.Valentine. Keinginan St.Valentine untuk berkahwin dengan pasangannya dari pengamal Protestan telah menimbul kegemparan di kalangan penduduk Cordova kerana St.Valentine adalah paderi Katolik yang tidak boleh berkahwin dengan pengamal Protestan. Lebih2 lagi paderi memang tak boleh kahwin.<br /><br />Tindakan St.Valentine itu telah menimbulkan rasa murka Ratu Isabella, lalu memperjarakannya. Ratu menetapkan 14 Februari sebagai Hari Kekasih untuk St. Valentine sendiri.</li></ol><br /> Whew...Banyak versi kan? Walau macamana pun, Tak menafikan Valentine Day telah menjadi antara hari yang besar buat couple. Tapi celebrate juga celebrate, jangan lebih2 dah la...Nanti accident kang satu hal jugak kan?<br /><br /> Anyway wish sesapa yang dah couple Happy Valentine Day! Kepada sesapa yang tak ada couple lagi tu, saya doakan bahawa tahun depan semua sudah ada couple dan celebrate dengan si dia dengan manisnya!<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-5136051127106986076?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-74214525295546776142009-01-28T14:16:00.002+08:002009-01-28T14:47:10.480+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">这次的新年...破天荒的初二就从我家乡回来了...其中一个最大的原因是因为我婆婆转去安邦医院了...所以就回家...再加上在家乡的新年真的越来越闷...红包也超少的说...所以干脆早点回来算了...也可以陪下我的婆婆...<br /><br />这次的新年，是我历年来最没有心情，最伤感，最悲观的一次...原因无他，单单一单婆婆的其实已经足够让我没mood过新年了...偏偏这次的新年有超闷...我的天啊！<br /><br />希望我婆婆早日康复...<br /><br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7421452529554677614?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-32853686255856392552009-01-24T22:27:00.002+08:002009-01-24T23:08:22.471+08:00<div style="text-align: center;">转眼新年又来临<br />又到生肖更换期<br />鼠走牛乘祥云来<br />吉祥好运跟着来<br /><br />打败狗熊霸股坛<br />财源广进八方来<br />身体健康壮如牛<br />龙马精神天天在<br /><br />文昌星耀庇书生<br />学业进步全科A<br />男生全英俊潇洒<br />女生全漂亮可爱<br /><br />单身全得好桃花<br />情侣全开花结果<br />无论单身或情侣<br />祝爱情甜蜜长久<br /><br />心想事成成功来<br />万事顺利如意来<br />笑口常开无烦恼<br />快乐幸福天天来<br /><br />牛转乾坤福满门<br />善缘好运人人爱<br />最后在此祝贺你<br />牛年快乐行大运！<br /></div><br />我没心情迎接新年，却并不代表别人没心情迎接新年...<br /><br />因此...在此祝各位新年快乐！<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3285368625585639255?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-14872080264420029722009-01-24T21:43:00.004+08:002009-01-24T22:22:03.733+08:00又要过年了...本来应该喜洋洋的迎接新年的...却...因为很多事情而搞到我连过年的心情也没有...<br /><br />首先...我婆婆...她的破伤风到现在都还不好...奇怪的是她的病就算用专门对付的方法治疗都治不好...她的脚还是天天出脓...只能每天“洗脚”...（即医生每天逼那些脓出来）搞到婆婆每天都必须忍受恶痛...到最后医生都束手无策...只能说老了所以康复能力和抵抗力没这样好云云...<br /><br />现在呢，由于治不好再加上我婆婆已经顶不顺了...就提早出院，去私人的...但是到现在都还没好...搞什么的...才因为上次的蚊症进了医院这次有来件致死的...天啊！我婆婆已经老了...难道要让她安安然然的度过她的晚年都这么难吗？<br /><br />朋友们...身边的朋友最近也不知干嘛...都有劫难发生...身为朋友的却只能看而帮不上忙...令我觉得我自己好没用！<br /><br />单单婆婆的事情我都已经没心情了...还要来几件朋友的...再加上最近又一直被人骂...真的让我心灰到不知怎样喜洋洋过新年...过什么年啦...真是的...<br />T。T<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1487208026442002972?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-43404049306380531542009-01-12T20:56:00.003+08:002009-01-12T22:47:41.408+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">好久都没Update我的部落格了，哈哈！（还好意思讲...）嗯...<br /><br />2009年了！当其他人在庆祝的时候，我还打着机呢！如果不是有人大叫有烟花看我都不知已经2009了！不过看什么啦！烟花这么远！看都看不过瘾啊！亏那班人还这么大惊小怪！<br /><br />一般来说，新的一年，新的希望...可是我还是不敢抱太大的期望...应该是没有吧...<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">考试啊！</span></span>老实说...这次真的特别没信心...毕竟有太多不稳定因素包括不知道Course Work分数，临场忘记东忘记西，结果都是乱写博运这样...唉...看着人家这么高兴，我真的是...<br /><br />诚实都有罪...那天无意中得罪了一位朋友...因为讲到敏感处...唉...也不是第一次了...只不过诚实一点罢了就搞到不开心了...唉...以后真的不知该怎样才好呢...不过...对不起...我的朋友...我真的不是故意的...我以后都不会再讲了...或许以后别再交谈应该会更好...至少不讲的话就肯定不会错...<br /><br />放假了！三个礼拜的假期...意味着三个礼拜的伤风...唉...<br /><br />昨天呢刚跟我的朋友喝茶...好开心能在看到她们！虽然又在约不成其他朋友，可是能见到她们已是万幸了！毕竟是临时临急约成的还想怎样？<br /><br />所以呢，就谈啊谈足差不多三小时就走了...<br /><br />毕竟是两个女的一个男的...所以一定会讲到服装...唉...那时的我真的是...因为我对服装简直就是一窍不通！所以有点闷...其他呢就还好...也领悟到一点东西...<br /><br />去年真的不知是什么年，好像分手大派对年似的，我的朋友们一个接一个分手...听到我都心寒！伤心！当然有些还是甜甜蜜蜜地在一起...爱情...真的不容易...<br /><br />别看我...我还是准备孤独终老算了...其实也不算太坏...至少能静静地终老也是一种幸福...那种安宁...反正听完她们的话我知道我简直不好希望任何爱情...因为我只是自找痛苦而已！像我这样外在内在都像垃圾的人...嗯...至少我知道天会收我...<br /><br />看着她们高谈阔论服装的时候，突然间一阵伤感又再来了...其实最近每跟朋友聚会这种伤感都会翻江倒海而来...为什么呢？因为...我会常在想，这种开开心心的聚会还能有几次呢？毕竟，每个人将来都会有自己的家庭...到时候，要聚会都很难了吧？不过再仔细想我会觉得自己是个大笨蛋！（其实本来就是...）因为这样未来的事情干嘛这么早想？<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4340404930638053154?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-44861825079503575212008-12-28T00:19:00.003+08:002008-12-28T00:47:02.907+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">26号那天，匆匆忙忙的从Cyber赶来Ampang...为什么呢？因为要去我的一位朋友的21岁生日聚会咯！哈哈我那位朋友终究还是逃不过21的降临！呵呵...<br /><br />来到了KL，原本的计划是先到我朋友家逗留一下下，怎知道这时才来了一封讯息说她去了朋友家，所以我不能去她的家这样...我的天啊！那时才7点多而已！而去我那位朋友家是11点左右！她就叫我先回家，然后10.45pm才在我家旁边的McD载我...这时的我真不知该怎么办才好...皆因我不能回家...因为我爸妈都不知道我不在Cyber。给他们知道了不被他们打死才怪！结果啊，我还是回到Pandan Mewah，然后就浪费时间...也不算浪费啦！跑了趟夜市场，看了看球赛...（曼联赢了！庆祝！）就这样颓废到11点左右，我朋友才到...<br /><br />到了她家，就谈谈天等良辰吉时...因为12点还没到嘛！（她妈妈超好人的！）好高兴看到他/她们全部！好久都没这样齐人了！他们的玩笑，真是弄到我差点因为笑破肚子而进医院呢！之后12点到了，就唱生日歌和吃蛋糕！之后再吵吵下，就到外面喝茶咯...<br /><br />好了...歌也唱了...糕也吃了...茶也喝了...是时候回家了...可是我是无家可归...因为我怕我爸妈骂...>< 后来我是打算叫我朋友载我去打机场打通宵算了...毕竟白天的时候我还要去刘碟广场买东西...之后再回Cyber...可是就遭到我朋友们的反对...也是啦...很危险而且我也累到半死了...结果就被逼麻烦我其中一位朋友，即暂时留宿在她家一晚...<br /><br />隔天，就谢谢了她，走了...<br /><br />谢谢你哦！YM! 超感动的说！因为你肯收留我！你真的是救了我呢！你的大恩大德我永远不会忘记的！<br /><br />还有婷婷！生日快乐哦！<br /><br />和你们全部！好高兴见到你们！下次要在这样子聚会哦！期待下次的见面！<br /><br />至下次见面为止，大家保重啦！<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4486182507950357521?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-90938186867107015022008-12-24T23:21:00.003+08:002008-12-24T23:36:31.591+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">It has been a long time since the last post...So did my life become better? Nope...It just...Worse...<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Assignment?</span><br /><br /></div> Not match to the quality...If compare to others...Have to really respect them as they are really genius...Me only just a bacteria-brain...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Study?</span><br /><br /></div>As bad as it would...Didn't understand at all...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Friends?</span><br /><br /></div>Just know that actually almost everybody dislike me...Just that I don know last semester...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Love?</span><br /></div><br />Not even want to mention about it...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Body?</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Since fell down my leg didn't work correctly anymore...Pain...<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">So as I said and expected, my life just getting worse and worse...As I'm writing this post, I'm actually flu-ing as response to the winter (X'Mas I suppose?) What a great way to end a year and start a year...<br /><br />Seeing my friend shout out saying that "<span style="font-style: italic;">2009 will be a better year</span>", well...I won't bet on that...For her it'll but for me...Just hope I can still endure the much worse upcoming year. I will be glad if I still alive to write a blog post at the end of next year...<br /><br />Anyway, a Merry X'Mas to everyone! And Happy New Year!<br /></div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-9093818686710701502?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-5983812203247833542008-11-18T17:10:00.002+08:002008-11-18T17:21:32.422+08:00既然你不喜欢我，<br />我也一百分的配不上你，<br />那我就“消失”吧！<br /><br />至少能让你开心点，<br />因为你能睬少一个你不喜欢的人，<br />少一个弄你不开心的人...<br />不用逼你自己跟一个你不喜欢的人交谈...<br /><br />对不起啦...<br />让你原本的开心生活因为我而有缺陷...<br />不过以后不会再有了...<br />虽然我不能真的消失...<br />能做的只有当你透明...<br /><br />但是，也够了吧?<br /><br />你的前方，是光亮大道，<br />而我的呢，是黑暗小路...<br /><br />所以我们不会再遇见彼此...<br />你走你的阳光路，我走我的独木桥...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-598381220324783354?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-40503329550238218882008-11-18T16:59:00.002+08:002008-11-18T17:09:42.616+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">The second week of Trimester II...As I expected...Have been worse than before...<br /><br />But all these things have let me see things that I can't see before...<br /><br />I never know that actually I'm an arrogant person...NEVER! Till today only I know! After I see her doing Discrete Structure question like piece of cake while I can't do at all! The best part is, she study on her own! While I have study this subject before during Diploma time! I'm so ashamed! Coz during the first class since I learn this subject before I kind of bluffing that this subject is so easy! But then only after 3 lecturers I have KO! But now many ppl that new to this subject can already do this subject very very well while I who have learn this subject can't even do it! WTH???<br /><br />Now I know...I'm just a stupid person that knows nothing but act arrogantly like I know everything...But in the end...I'm just a failure...<br /><br />Now I know...To others, I'm just a small ant compare to others genius out there...My tone of arrogant must have make many perple in MMU dislike me...Ya...Now I know...<br /><br />I think I have less qualification to talk now...As I'm just talking empty...Without knowing anything...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4050332955023821888?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-11403392961916287932008-11-16T12:30:00.002+08:002008-11-16T12:48:09.616+08:001999年...<br /><br />因为 ♥ ，一位朋友没有了...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2000 - 2001<br /><br />痛苦中...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">2002年...<br /><br />无忧无虑的...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2003 - 2004<br /><br />时间重复...为 ♥ 痛苦...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">2005年 - 2007年<br /><br />为 ♥ ，寂寞，孤独，被离异，失去很多朋友而痛苦...时间重复了几次...无止境的重复痛苦中...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2008年 - 现在<br /><br />时间又在重复了...还是失去很多朋友...<br /><br />还在为同样的事情痛苦中...<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">时间还需要重复几次呢？我还要在重复痛苦几次呢？再重复的话我就不会老了...因为时间根本就不会向前...只是无止境的Looping...再重复的话我怕我会支持不住了...<br /><br />“不要紧啦...”<br /><br />对啊...不要紧啦...反正也不是第一次了...失去了就算了...别勉强自己...活下去吧...父母恩还没报答...就不需要想太多了...<br /></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1140339296191628793?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-1605570563170107902008-11-09T16:57:00.004+08:002008-11-09T17:08:14.379+08:00以前我看到朋友哭 我很羡慕<br /><span class="hidtext"></span>可是我怎么逗我自己 怎么弄我自己<br /><span class="hidtext"></span>我的眼泪都流不出<br /><span class="hidtext"></span><br /><span class="hidtext"></span>总觉得能够哭的朋友 都很幸福<br /><span class="hidtext"></span> 能够把满腔的无耐 满腔的痛苦<br /><span class="hidtext"></span>让泪水带走<br /><span class="hidtext"></span><br /><span class="hidtext"></span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">最苦是泪水哽在心头 流不出</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" class="hidtext"></span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> 就像要爱却不懂得怎么去爱</span></span><br /><span class="hidtext"></span>自己哭过后才明白<br /><span class="hidtext"></span>流过泪的眼睛 将生命看得更清楚<br /><span class="hidtext"></span><br /><span class="hidtext"></span>只有真正懂得付出的人<br /><span class="hidtext"></span>才懂得何为哭 为何哭<br />再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱<br />心会痛 心也会感动<br />只有曾经真心付出的人<br />才懂得何为哭 为何哭<br />泪水要记得为真心保留<br />眼泪别白白的流<br /><br />听回些旧歌...发现到这首歌蛮有意思的...因为现在的我...真的很难哭...不是不想哭...而是<br /><br />哭不出！！！<br /><br />不知怎么，心里太多太多，可是想哭也哭不出！我...真的好辛苦...我不知还能忍多久...<br /><br />有朋友问起我的感情状况，我只能说没有...他们问难道你没有去追吗？我安静了...不是没追...而是...我真的不知该怎么追！真搞不懂那些男生是怎么追女生的...哈哈...可能真的想要爱却不懂怎样去爱吧...<br /><br />也好...要是能哭的话...我觉得每天都可以哭...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-160557056317010790?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-80350645634246605922008-11-08T00:18:00.003+08:002008-11-08T00:35:32.190+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">今天，很开心...因为终于见到她们了！哇...真的盼望了好久好久！从放假开始就在期待着了！可惜只是短短的一小时...可是还是很开心！看得出来如果时间足够的话，还可以聊个几小时呢！看得出来你们聊的还不够哦！哈哈！<br /><br />希望能去Pulau Redang...记得通知我哦！别丢下我... T.T<br /><br />看到你那阳光的笑容，我感到欣慰...昔日的你终于回来了...希望你幸福快乐，你的笑容永远都有阳光气息哦！欣怡！<br /><br />姝颖...你也是哦！<br /><br />可是SY公主，请你别再瘦了... ><" 在瘦就不好看了...哈哈！ 希望我们能再像今天酱，再喝茶... “朋友们！要幸福快乐哦！愿幸福快乐永远伴随你们！” </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8035064563424660592?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-60136958822007325522008-11-04T23:14:00.002+08:002008-11-04T23:25:10.689+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Just know my result...For my Trimester 1...Hmm...Not bad...Above 3.5...The result that I really glad about...Coz I know I 'm really playful in Trimester I...So I can't get the result I want...<br /><br />Seeing others high CGPA, suddenly something inside me awaken and scold at me...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;">"</span><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">HEY! WHERE ARE TAY ENG SOON THAT SCORE ABOVE 3.90 EVERY SEMESTER???<br /><br />DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER THING LIAO YOU FOOL!!!<br /><br />MIND UR OWN RESULT LA! BAKA!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">ALWAYS WORRY ABOUT OTHER STUPID THINGS ONLY!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">PADAN MUKA KAU!!</span>"</span><br /></div><br />Yup..."He" is right...What happen to me??? So playful...So stupid...What am I doing in Trimester I??? Walau...<br /><br />Nevermind...Trimester II will not be the same again...I swear! No more maybe or possibe! MUST!!!<br /><br />CP II! Discrete Structures! I don't care what will happen to me! I don't care and won't even care I happy or sad or even want to die! I want to score A for both of u!!!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size:180%;">LET'S DO IT!!!!<br /></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6013695882200732552?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-15391257641582371542008-11-01T23:33:00.001+08:002008-11-01T23:36:55.957+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">最近喜欢上刘若英的《后来》...因为后来的我，才知道自己的愚蠢，才导致现在命运这么凄惨的我...如果那时的我不是这样子的话，或许现在的我真的会过得更开心，命运也不会这样子...<br /><br />算吧，我朋友说的对...未来的路还是要走的...就试试吧...或许后来的我不会再为以前而后悔万分...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1539125764158237154?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-63195394498229698612008-10-31T21:46:00.004+08:002008-10-31T22:41:05.626+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">There have been a long time I not update my blog...Coz my mood in this 2 weeks is like a roller coaster...Yup...Up and down...Finally...Stop...<br /><br />Hmm...After the sad final day, I have to go Microsoft Student Partner Boot Camp that held at KLCC on Saturday...Nice camp! And tiring too...Ha...But after that a one year of hard work is waiting for me...<br /><br />Tuesday morning, my dad bring me to Hospital KL to see my leg...Yup...I want to know what happen to my knee actually...After being kicked by 2 ppl during my Form 3 time when playing soccer...Wow...6 years already then only go see doctor...Geng o? Haiz...My knee...Anyway have to go back on 4/11/2008 to know my X-ray report...God Bless Me for that...<br /><br />But what surprised me on that day was suddenly my dad let me went back to my hometown which is Bahau to see my grandparents. Yahoo! Back to Bahau! But only 4 days la...Saturday need to come back liao...But nevermind lo...<br /><br />There was the time my mood go like Roller Coaster...My way of thought too...My best friends...If she doesn't tell me I also don't know...Miss P...If she didn't tell me I also don't know...Many things...So many...<br /><br />Now only I know...Actually I should have know...Almost everyone don't like me...Even my friends...Even she...Even her...Even my best friend...I think even everyone of my friends...I just as I said...Stupid...Dumb***...Don't even noticed about all of this...I should have know since they happy when I resign from become class leader that time...I should have know since I always alone...I should have know since I lost her...I should have know since I lost many many...My sister...My friends...The person I like...<br /><br />I never imagined...I really really...Never thought of...Actually my existence is a nuisance to everyone...Everything of me...Is a pain to everyone...Dislike to my existence...<br /><br />My words...My action...Everything of me...She don't like me...Nevermind! Already many don like...But even she...The person I trust the most...If not Miss P tell me...Iwon't know that she really dislike me...Hahahahahaha!!! Why??? Everything of me...<br /><br />I shouldn't exist at all...Coz my existence is just nuisance to everyone...I really can't find any value of exist in this world...Pathetic isn't it? Yup...Everyone don like me...I think they have rather don even see me! They just have no choice as me and them are same class...Have to see everyday...Have to be polite...I...Really feel so sorry for them...Coz of my existance...Their happy day have to have some dirty spot...<br /><br />Silence...I think I should...Do absolutely nothing...I should...So that I won't make them more dislike me...So that I won't make them unhappy coz of me...Is unworth it...It'll be better if I'm not exist betweeen them...<br /><br />I don want to go back to MMU anymore...I really don wan...I afraid of my own existance...I...Can't call or see my best friend already...Coz I'll just make her unhappy...Actually everyone! So that I won't make everyone unhappy...But? I have to...No choice...Since when HE let me have a choice? To choose my life? Other ppl life is happy one while mine one...Only Darkness that stay with me till my death...<br /><br />I'm just a trash...A nuisance...That not suppose exist in this world...I just don know why God let me exist in this world? Is HIM want to show that the difference between a trash and a human? Then HE goes...I know now...Everyone know now...How terrible I am in everything...How good of others are...I'm just make others progress slower...<br /><br />I won't contact her anymore...If can everyone...Start sem I'll "dissappear"...If my existance is just really hated by everyone...Then even though I can't really non-exist, I'll try to make myself Non-Exist...<br /><br />Ha...Looks like there is no one already I can find after this...To cry out all my pains...Looks like I have step closer to Death...Hmm...Maybe is better...if I'm not exist anymore then no need make other ppl suffer...Won't it better?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6319539449822969861?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-87440600592648015132008-10-19T20:27:00.006+08:002008-10-19T21:15:29.980+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">After the exhausting yet fun Microsoft Student Partner Boot Camp, finally I have time to write this blog...Yup...Time for some conclusion for my 1st Trimester of Beta Year in MMU Cyber...<br /><br />Hmm...Overall...I end my final 1st trimester day with tears, sadness and disappointment...Hmm...Well I do have a lot of different experiences in this first trimester...Like Skate and Aikido...Skate really fun! Except when you are "London Bridge is falling down..." Aikido? Err...Pain lo...But I will get used to it de...I think so...Ahahaha...<br /><br />I really need to admit that...At the first place I join this 2 club is mainly(not all la) because of her de...Haiz...But after I join these 2 club I really not regret, coz they are really fun! Well other than can see her more the club itself is really fun! Of course a stupid like me really will get pain more de...Till at a point I almost give up...But I managed to come over them...<br /><br />About her a...Haha! Erm...Finally I really cried...In 2 days I cried 3 times...Coz of everything...Aside her, the leaving of my beloved Sensei Hanae Nakamura to Japan and I know that now many really don't like me...Including someone I trust the most in MMU Cyber...I feel like...I'm really a trash that no one like...Is just the same as my previous life in my college...Haha...I can't escape from my destiny am I?<br /><br />Suddenly I don't know what I can do anymore in MMU...Other than study and score 4.0 I don't know after this I have courage or not to continue friends with all of them or not...Since when you don like somebody u won't hope to see his/her face right? If many ppl don like me what should I do? Should I dissappear from MMU Cyber and go to Melaka instead? Coz I don wan them hate me instead after they see me more...<br /><br />Am I really should not talk? Or even exist? Why my existance so hated by people? I know my words really shoot ppl wan...And I...Really really bad...Hey! I know the answer already! I should change! Ha...Too late...Even though I change they won't forgive me...No matter is her or other ppl...And some more is really hard...Haha...<br /><br /><img style="width: 318px; height: 238px;" src="http://photos-p.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_398956784l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />The last day...I managed to take photo with my Sensei...And afterward suddenly I can't control myself anymore and my tears almost burst out...Maybe Sensei saw this and quickly like sending me out of her room...Luckily she did that coz I straight cried out after I walked a few steps from her room...So pain...Everything...Her...Everyone...Dissapointment...Sadness...Sensei leave some more...I don't know why I so sad...Maybe because memories with my Sensei is too sweet...Not like her k? Come on! Her class is so wonderful! If she is still in MMU I think I'll take Japanese class again for my Curriculum...But now...<br /><br />I can only see darkness at the front of me...Start from 2nd Trimester...As everything have gone...All those wonderful things that happen before, all those stupid thoughts of me about hopes...All those will be just memories again...That'll make me pain when everytime I think back...<br /><br />Well...Guess I'll go on...Till the day where God stop me to walk anymore...Whether front there is murky darkness, whether fornt there is the path where I'll just alone, whether front there all the ppl will hate me like they hate trash, I won't care anymore...<br /><br />Give up...Give up...Give up...Don't trust anymore...Deep Dive into the Darkness...And live with it...No choice...It is my destiny...<br /><br />Facing the coming trimester...Let's Go! Let the life be more darker! So I can one step more become a Heartless!!!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:180%;">WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<br /></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8744060059264801513?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-74670205940014940922008-10-09T11:33:00.002+08:002008-10-09T11:47:46.055+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Today, I experience again one of my most darkness day in my life...What was it? Well...I'm having a Math paper today...And? I didn't sleep coz of it but the outcome? Most probably I have to retake Math I even though I REALLY REALLY HATE IT!!! I not even want to see anybody liao...Including her...Coz seeing and talk with them will just make my mood worse...Ask them how they do for sure they will geleng kepala but actually I know they are doing well...I can just envy them...<br /><br />Oh ya that mean I mostly will have a terrible mark for my Math that will really pull down my CGPA...Pass sure can wan but what for if u only get a C? Below 3.00! My parents don't care also but I care! I don't know why I become so dumb in this U! Where is the Tay Eng Soon that can understand very fast??? Where is he now? Is he die already? Why I just can't understand at all even though I study, study and study already?<br /><br />A genius says in her WLM that she not even a stupid, worse than that. So if she is worse than a stupid then what am I? Bacteria?<br /><br />I really...Really hate Maths...Yet I need to score it...With nowadays brain like me...Even though I can get a lucky B for my Math I(which is nearly impossible) but there is a much harder Math II holding a sickle and waiting for me...My head will sure chop off by it...<br /><br />Don know how to end this post...Really sad right now...I don know what for I keep asking how others doing while I know the answer already...While I doing very very "Bacteria"-ly...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7467020594001494092?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-35629815877768132452008-09-30T21:42:00.002+08:002008-09-30T23:35:55.555+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">心碎后的星期六，我回家了...可是回到家却还要烦我家里的电脑...因为我家的电脑坏掉了...原因？我都不敢断定，不过初步怀疑是主机板的事...糟了！好坏不坏竟然是主机板坏！OMG！无论如何幸好还在担保期内，所以干脆送回去电脑公司弄吧！更何况在Mid-Valley也有Event...<br /><br />礼拜天我与我弟弟在10点就出发了...因为怕迟去就必须要等的超久，所以就决定早早出发！到了刘碟广场，交了我的电脑让他们检查后，就要等一小时...当然我们没这么傻去干等那一小时...我们就趁着这一小时去金河广场走走看看，顺便去买我爸叫我们买的东西...就将兜兜转转了大概一小时半...哈！超出时间了说！<br /><br />之后果然如我所料，是主机板坏了...所以要送厂维修...他妈的...真的是当哀啊！中奖都没这么准！结果没办法，只能等一个月咯！之后我爸妈就来载我们，去Mid-Valley咯！<br /><br />其实Mid-Valley有什么Event呢？是ACGC咯！即Animation Comic Game Convention。类似展览会的啦！不过在去ACGC之前呢我们去了一间日本食物专卖店。超多食物的哦！却蛮贵的...><" 不过还是买了些东西啦！还看到一样很有趣兼我超喜欢的东西： <img style="width: 267px; height: 199px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_659622756l.jpg" border="0" />是我超喜欢的Hamtaro！不过这是咖哩粉！哈哈！<br /><br />我爸妈当然不会跟我们看Cosplay与及漫画电玩啦！所以我们就兵分两路咯！我与妹妹就去ACGC，而我爸妈就去拍拖咯！<br /><br />然后，就出发去三楼！<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 312px; height: 233px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_697551449l.jpg" border="0" /><br /></div><br />到了！ACGC入口！进去走走兜兜后，就到了Cosplay比赛咯！拿上我爸爸借给我的数码相机，拍咯！<br /><br /><img style="width: 250px; height: 334px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_283906316l.jpg" border="0" /> <img style="width: 250px; height: 334px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_409747813l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />这位仁兄怎么这么可怜？必须跪地乞求？<br /><br /><img style="width: 261px; height: 347px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_359658071l.jpg" border="0" /> Air Gear的Spit Fire! Skate Rocks!<br /><br />当然还有其他的啦！版图有限，不能放完出来，不过：<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 411px; height: 308px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_702125795l.jpg" border="0" /><br />全体照！<br /></div><br />这位仁兄看到美女就情不自禁...<br /><img style="width: 411px; height: 308px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_105696124l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />结果其他Cosplayer也跟一起疯狂了...<br /><img style="width: 411px; height: 308px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_218465089l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />哈哈！之后比赛就告一段落...我们就在到处看看咯！也跟其他Cosplayer合影：<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 280px; height: 373px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_534512033l.jpg" border="0" /><br /></div><br />还记得上次我说的那个第一次与她握手的女孩子吗？这就是她啦！<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 282px; height: 375px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_505817547l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />我与Spit Fire<br /><img style="width: 281px; height: 374px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_118867112l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Death Note与死神相见欢（超可爱的说<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="t_nihongo_kanji" lang="ja">海砂!）</span></span><br /><img style="width: 484px; height: 364px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_668108883l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />不止是Cosplay而已哦！还有：<br /><img style="width: 463px; height: 347px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_854728692l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Wii 的新game示范！<br /><br />之后我再到处走走，却看到...<br /><br /><img style="width: 269px; height: 359px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_847192762l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />原来是Vampire Knight的Cosplayer哦！看样子是要吸血了吧！可是...<br /><img style="width: 269px; height: 359px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_513337034l.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />哈哈！有人害羞了哦！因为其他Cosplayer看到此景全都起哄说吻下去！结果那女的就顶不顺了！哈哈！<br /><br />唉？怎么只看到照片只看到我呢？我妹妹呢？哈哈...她比较害羞啦！不过最后还是拍了一张：<br /><img style="width: 269px; height: 359px;" src="http://photos.friendster.com/photos/63/62/24182636/1_988101079l.jpg" border="0" /><br />是跟Air Gear的希姆合照哦！<br /></div><br />之后由于时间要到了我们就回咯！此行令我也想Cosplay了呢！不过吓到我的是，我那才13岁的妹妹竟然说她也要Cosplay！哇！年纪轻轻竟然...<br /><br />之后我爸送我到Pasar Seni，因为我必须回大学...<br /><br />就这样，一天就过去了...今天还玩的蛮开心的！明天呢也是要出门...去哪里呢？继续追看吧！<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3562981587776813245?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-39777487417600892202008-09-29T00:02:00.002+08:002008-09-29T00:55:39.650+08:00该怎么说呢？题目说到完了...心碎了...而且她还打破了我历来的记录...即让我在一天内心碎 + 心痛三次！我之前都没在同一天内心碎过这么多次！<br /><br />第一次，就是YM的时候...我想陪她到车站...因为她必须坐巴士回她的家...所以在YM里我就问她几点搭车出发，她是答了，可是她也补充她比较喜欢一个人回...霎那间我心好痛...原来她不想我陪...<br /><br />可是我还是很笨的，很顽固的跟了她...哈哈...想回起来还真好笑...我竟然为了她在Putrajaya Central那里等了几乎一个小时，就是为了要等她出现然后陪她去Bukit Jalil...<br /><br />第二次，是在我跟她说...“我喜欢你”的时候...忽然间，我想起我跟她是完全不可能的...她听了也只是“哦”了一声然后掉头就走了...那时的我...心痛的...非言语能形容！眼泪...几乎要不争气的流出来了...<br /><br />第三次，是她的一封讯息...没隐瞒...一切都写得清清白白...“不要再喜欢我了...” 我是傻...却不是傻到连她跟她男友好到可以谈婚论嫁的地步都不知道...如果有的选的话我才不要喜欢任何一个人呢！毕竟像我这个垃圾实在是没资格去拥有爱情！可是...感情这些事情有哪次是可以被控制的？所以呢...注定我还是要被爱情伤的我体无完肤...<br /><br />我...不能哭...因为那时的我已经在轻快铁里...总不能叫我在很多人的LRT里突然间大声的哀叫痛哭吧？可悲吧？想哭却不能哭...讽刺的是，天这个时候竟然下雨了...真是的...我的眼泪原来都变成了雨...只是...她...活在光里的她...永远都不会知道...我的心...血流成河...眼泪...要流的话...可以像雨一样...下个不停...<br /><br />现在怕的是...她会因为这个关系，与我疏离...如果是将的话，就算了吧！像类似的事情又不是第一次了...注定的吧！历史...时间...只是又在重复而已...<br /><br />可能就是要心碎多几次，才会没有心去爱吧！如果是将的话有什么不好呢？至少我这个垃圾废物不用再去盼望这些不配我与及永远都不会降临我的这些爱与希望...<br /><br />她...或许其他人...永远都不会明白...为什么我这么黑暗...为什么我这么不正常...为什么我这么的悲观...<br /><br />皆因...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">命运弄人啊！</span></span><br /></div><br />命运注定我就是垃圾废物！一个不会有人爱的孤单之魂！一个迟钝的废物！一个搞到人家伤心欲绝和失望的垃圾！<br /><br />当我这么想的时候，突然间我心情好了很多...因为这样的想法可以让我别再傻乎乎的去盼望那些永远都不会属于我的东西...说什么缘分没到，垃圾！缘分最好别来了！如果等缘分来我的心就要痛多几回的话，那缘分干脆别来了！因为我怕等到缘分来，我都因为忍受不了折磨跳楼算了！那时候缘分才来干嘛？<br /><br />我...在盼望...一把我在幻想中的无心之剑...只要被它刺下去...就会无心...那...我就没有心去爱...自然的...没有烦恼！<br /><br />我！讨厌爱！讨厌喜欢人！我不想再喜欢人了！我真的很想撕开我的身体！然后把我的那颗该死的心拔出来！用炸弹把它炸的不留一点碎片！多好！不用烦！因为没有心去爱了！<br /><br />我...相信我会忘了她的...因为我还不想失去她这位朋友...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3977748741760089220?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-91220529263240150832008-09-27T10:54:00.003+08:002008-09-27T10:59:11.576+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">为什么我的心好痛？为什么我的眼睛突然间火辣辣地，却很想掉眼泪？为什么只是YM里的几句话，却伤的我这么这么的深？我...还是无法成为一个无心者...我的心...还在痛着...<br /><br />或许这就是我的命运吧...<br /><br />好痛...好痛...现在的我...已经迷失在黑暗里了...然而她呢...幸福的活在光里...开开心心的...我跟她...真的是两个不同世界的人...<br /><br />好Hurt哦...或许就是要心碎到没有碎片了我才会醒吧？<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-9122052926324015083?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-83686488298116228532008-09-26T22:40:00.006+08:002008-09-27T10:50:44.969+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">已经很久都没update我的blog了...别怪我啦...本人实在是太忙了...几乎每天都在为学业奔波劳碌...到了现在才的空...哈哈...<br /><br />当然，蛮多事情发生的...日子还是这么伤心孤单...最近的不如意，让我对有些事物有了新的看法...<br /><br />在此之前，还是要跟你们说说我今天的活动地。今天呢，傻傻的一个人去Sunway Pyramid...为什么呢？主要原因是因为她也去Sunway Pyramid...那其他原因包括要去冒险！因为我不会从Cyberjaya去Sunway，所以就试试看吧！还有呢就是看看到底Sunway Pyramid变成什么样子了...毕竟已经装修与及扩大了，想看看有什么新东西好看...<br /><br />出发咯！结果一开始就要追着巴士跑...><" 然后在巴车站又给司机骂... ><" 呜呜呜呜～～～好可怜哦！不过那个巴士司机也真够他妈的！问他那个巴士几时出发他跟我说那个巴士还没到，之后当他上车要出发了因为等的不耐烦了，考虑到做他的巴士也能到Sunway就坐他的车咯，结果他却指另一边说那就是我应该坐的巴士，我去那一边看却不是，结果我只能回头，然后却给他骂说明明在那里！然后他却指我的左手尽头！他妈的！玩我还不够还骂我？不过我还是算了，就上了那辆巴士出发咯！ <br /><br />终于，到了Pyramid了！之后呢...就没什么的啦...就像个傻子将一个人到处看咯！结果？迷路迷的好厉害... ><" 哈哈！当然咯！改到将厉害！停车场变成商店lie！不过半途也给我找到打机场，就在那里打机咯！然后再逛逛...看看...最后看不到她的踪影再加上看到滑冰场，就...溜冰去咯！结果就溜了三小时！哈哈！其中呢就少不了意外...一方面是因为我的技术不够纯熟，另一方面呢，因为那些不会溜的人到处乱跌，害得还不是很会溜的我因为闪他们而被逼光荣牺牲...衣服湿了还好，还中头奖！就是整个头因为控制不到跌势而整个撞向冰上！我的天！头昏 + 歪眼睛 + 肿额头... 溜完了，吃铁板烧。就回咯！结果等巴士等到发疯到处乱骂！太慢了！他妈的！ 最后，还是给我在巴士站看到她了...超可爱的说！Lolita装的她！可是不好意思当面赞她...就说她的另一个朋友可爱过她...因为她也是Lolita装扮...哈哈！不知她男友会不会杀了我呢！哈哈！ 然后就到了MMU咯！跟他们告别后就个散东西... 好了...今天的活动大致报告完毕！然后嘛... 现在的我，才知道，原来时间并不是离开我...它一直都在...只是...它在重复...从认识 -> 喜欢 -> 失望+绝望+伤心，这些过程没停过...一直在重复...我也是因为她我才领悟到这一点...所以基本上怪不得我的命运从来没变过...结局从来没变过...因为根本是历史在重复嘛！<br /><br />梦想...理想...原来在命运面前是多么的脆弱！如果你的命运是光明，那你的理想与梦想是平步青云...可是如果命运是像我这样黑暗呢...哈！那...你不用去梦，也不用去理想了！因为那黑暗的命运肯定会将它们毁的一干二净！让你痛苦，伤心，绝望！回想我过去...好多好多的梦想都被命运毁掉！每一次的希望，带来的却是彻头彻尾的败北！<br /><br />孤独...现在我终于明白...我是一个可怜虫...一个不肯承认，不肯接受自己命运的人...现在我知道我的命运..所以...我认了！<br /><br />我的新代号 - 孤独之魂<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8368648829811622853?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-16294156904209463442008-09-07T18:27:00.002+08:002008-09-07T20:45:48.875+08:00<p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">There have been a long time since last time...Many things happen for sure...</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">Port Dickson! Well...Since all my photos were with my friends, so I can't post them in Friendster and Windows Live Space as well...But hey...That was kinda fun...But what am I doing over there? Well...That was because my sponsor of my study - Yayasan Telekom Malaysia organized a camp for new scholar. It was compulsory for all new scholar like me, so I have to go, even though I have a lot of things need to finish...</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">So what is so fun about that camp? Hmm...The camp is somehow a bit bored... Plus I am too tired during that time thanks to the assignments, so basically I'm half-fishing half-awake while attending the class in that camp...Hehe...But BEACH!!! Those sea winds! Sea waves...Luckily this camp have a lot of free time so I can enjoy the sea view and sea winds for some time...Waaaa...So nice...I like beach so much!</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">Anyway maybe all of you will ask : "So how about Aikido and Skate? U said b4 u want to give up right?" Hmm...Ya...I did said all of them...I even said that I won't post anymore...Yet...I have recover...Should I say revive? Ha...I continue in AIkido and Skate...EXCEPT...Her...</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">Now, I realize that she is another unreachable dream of mine...So I decided to give up...And live on...I think this is the best way...For me and her...</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">Some ppl that know this and not know this but see this, some of them said why not try to court her? One of them said a classic sentences:"Why not use spannar puck her out?" ^^ Then when I told it is impossible, some of them said there is nothing impossible...Wait la! Wait till they... ><</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">For me if to get her, she must suffer the pain of lost first, then <b>I RATHER DON'T WANT</b>! I rather she live happily ever after! No sadness, disappointment, darkness for her! Coz like other ppl said, if u truly love a person it doesn't mean u must own her, but as long as she is happy, is enough for u...Yes...I agree that...</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">I think most of u will agree me right? Let's hope that I'll quickly forget about her and move on...</p><p style="text-align: justify;" mce_style="text-align: left;">Now I know...The meaning...Is not the sea waves erase the words...Is myself...My ownself...That erase them...<br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1629415690420946344?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-49070227011848792782008-08-26T23:34:00.003+08:002008-08-27T00:08:39.245+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">I finally cried...Even though I look up and tried not to...After the Aikido training...Actually I don't want to go...Since I know I'm such a stupid rubbish...But after chat with my friend and gain some confidence...And hope...I said : "Let's give it one more try la!"<br /><br />So I go...Then? Well...It's just the repeat of yesterday...Well...Not same la...Just worse till no end only...Till I really give up don't want to try liao...Just let others do...That's what I can do atleast...<br /><br />I really angry to one person, when he said that u just didn't train harder...And he said 3 times some more! Ha! Not trained harder! I tried so much! So hard! But I still can't! Why I become so stupid till that extend liao? Am I a pig not a human already now? Why become so stupid liao de? Anyway I don't hope they understand the circumstances of a "Pig" though...And I can't expect everyone of them wait for me de...They all so fast while I'm damn slow...Even though first time they said so beautifuly that if u slow everyone will be slow too...But hey reality is cruel k? And it proved though...Not even I master a tehnique they jump to another one...Can't they wait? No...It is really can't wait anyway...Coz Aikido is not a stupid and dumb pig-like brain person which is like me...<br /><br />So I decided to leave Aikido for good...Actually I want to leave skate too...But since the skate is damn expensive so I think I can't...But yet I don't think I want to skate with them anymore...As I'm just a nuisance to others...Imagine a pig skating with a bunch of human...Yup...I should leave...I should just skate alone...Till I can skate till no problem liao...Till no need Su and V worried about me liao...Till my T-break is ok liao...Then only I can skate with them...<br /><br />I should give up everything already...Including her...I should just live alone from now on...That's what I suppose to do from the beginning I came into MMU...But yet I keep lie to myself...My life will better in MMU...So now how? It is just the same...So sad my life...<br /><br />When I see her go away...After Aikido...I...Really...Really...<br /><br />I don't know what I should do...Other than get my study done...Yet my study also make me want to...Escape from MMU liao...<br /><br />What's my purpose of living??? I don't know...Nobody will give me that answer...Ha...My answer b4 is We Live so that we Die...But now...I don't know...<br /><br />In this darkness world...I already have no will to live...Just wait the day where God take my life away...Suddenly I heard a whiper sound...<br /><br />"Gambateh! Gambateh! Don't give up! Don't give up!"<br /><br />I wonder who is the one that whisper to me...After I find and find and find...Then only I realized that...Is my already broken heart pieces...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4907022701184879278?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-40248772512573985592008-08-26T00:15:00.003+08:002008-08-26T01:06:28.716+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Today...I think is the most darkiest day in my university life...Well...While I'm writing this post in the middle of the darkness, others are happy enjoying at Old Town...Yup...Suppose I should with them too...Haha...Thinking bout that suddenly give a thrill of cruelness...Didn't it? Everybody were so happy but I'm writing this post with a sooooo DARK mood...A.k.a Sad, Dissapointed feelings...So sarcarstic...<br /><br />Is not that I don't want to join...But I just want to honest to myself...I can't take it anymore...I afraid that if I go then something more terrible will happen...I don't know when I can't control myself anymore...Why all these happen to me? Well...Just because I'm suck...In skate...Actually not only in skate...But leave that for later k?<br /><br />Well...I'm really slow in the beginning...But that time I thought I'll get better in the future...But as usual...A useless person will always be useless person...No matter what...Others can learn their skill within a hour...(Not even a hour, just in 10 minutes) while me? One day also can't! But I do got something...What I got? A pair of painful leg + No energy hand + all those dark feelings! The skill? Just same as b4! <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">ZERO! Kosong! REI!</span> Or wat ever that same meaning as that! I can tell u that is really difficult for me to type this post actually as my hands already no energy...I think is the result of me falling soooo many times...Yup...I bet that I fall the most in the whole skate team... But yet it seems that they all doesn't pay off do they? I still the suckiest ppl in the whole team...<br /><br />Now...Leave skate...DS...Sucks in the test...In the class...Others can catch it immediately while I don't...Maths? As i said b4, SUCKS...CP? For God sake Yu Xuan I'm not really good actually...U r the one!<br /><br />My face? Sucks...My mouth? Sucks...Everything! Why I'm so useless??? V...I think u havn't answer my question right? Haha...Coz u don hav the answer...I know...I do understand...U see? I just a <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">BIGGEST LIER</span> in the world...Why? Coz I lie to myself! All these times! My faces always Lalalala or hahahaha but deep in my heart is...Dark...<br /><br />Sorry to Big Kai Wen and one more guy where I not remember his name liao...Coz that time I can't control myself and shout at you all...I know that U all worried about me and I do appreciate them but...As I said...I can't control liao...<br /><br />Suddenly I feel I'm such a pathetic person...If lie to myself, u imagine how my life will be...But if I honest to myself, then...I won't hav friends...So my life will be miserable too...So...No matter where I go...My life is still sucks...My life will still pathetic...<br /><br />Just now actually i got a chance to crashed by car in MMU...But why I don't? Why I evaded it? Isn't it much more simpler to die like that? So no more all these feelings?<br /><br />I almost cry...When I learn T-Break...<br /><br />I almost cry...When I know I falled in love to someone that I shouldn't love to...Why I can't love her? Well first of all I'm sucks...Secondly she already owned by someone...I should become a heartless u see...But I failed...So useless...<br /><br />I almost cry...When I read the lyrics of a Japanese Songs..."<span style="font-style: italic;">I looked up when I walk</span>"...<br /><br />I...Feel so ashamed when I get scolded by Aikido Sensei...I feel so ashamed when I see Su and V disspointed face...Sorry to all of you...Is not that I don't want to do...But I can't...Coz I'm so stupid...I feel so...I don know how to describe the feelings...When everytime I see u...<br /><br />I know...I can't escape my destiny...In the end it'll be the same again...In the darkness...I can't escape from that...No matter how I tried...<br /><br />Is better I give up then...Atleast I won't cause a trouble for u all...When I train T-Break myself and I see u all so happy down there...I know...Is my destiny...When I trained Aikido, I see everyone is doing great while I'm still sucks...I know is my destiny...As a Failure...<br /><br />Is not that I don't want to skate or Aikido...But just that...I can't take it anymore...The more I studied...The more I skate...The more I Aikido...The more I wished to die...Coz I'm such a rubbish!<br /><br />I think this is the last post...Coz I think I won't hav any new post again...As I think is better to keep something private for now on...But...Who know? If God suddenly change my life and my life is just so wonderful suddenly, maybe I'll...But if He want to change that is...Coz I really don expect that much...My past 3 years is a damn FUCKING MISERABLE PATHETIC LIFE...So I didn't see any difference here...And maybe it'll continue...<br /><br />If God pity me, maybe He'll just let me die earlier so that I no need to endure all these things...But I know, since when He ever let me live truly happy? Not even primary school! My life is sucks since primary school till now!<br /><br />Wow...So long...Good wat...As THE END of my blog...<br /><br />To all that read till this line...I just want to thank you...To you that have read my post all these times...There are something I need to tell you though...<br /><br />Thank to God that your life is much more better than me! If u think u don't...Come and speak to me...Maybe you are...But who knows?<br /><br />Is sad to see another person like me...So I hope that is enough I'm that sad...No others else...So...Find your life! A person like me hav no choice but u hav!<br /><br />Friends are so precious...So take care of them carefully! Coz once lost there won't be any turning back! Don be like me...Regret till now...<br /><br />That's all I think...<br /><br />Destiny...Fate...Time...Even my own body...<br />Now all going against my will...<br />What else I can expect from this cruel world...<br /><br />Darkness...I'm...<br />Hoping for the light...<br />Yet it can only happen in dreams...<br /><br />U r so perfect...In everything...<br />Yet I'm just sucks in everything...<br />U and I...Are just Lights and Darkness...<br />Totally inverse...Totally can't come across...<br /><br />Everything I hope...They just slipped away...<br />Without any sense of pitiness...<br />To a pathetic me...<br /><br />I'm nothing...Without my body...<br />I'm nothing...Just a lone soul...<br />What is left with me? A scattered heart...<br />A wounded soul...A dying soul...<br /><br />I'm Nobodies...No identity...<br />Nobody...But why I can't be a NoHeart?<br />A Heartless?<br /><br />My destiny...My fate...<br />In the eternal darkness...<br />Forever...<br /><br />Listening to "Dearly Beloved"...<br />Remember all those memories...<br />I look up when I walk...<br />Watching to the dark sky...<br />So that my tears...<br />Won't fall...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4024877251257398559?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-21647224482579597412008-08-22T13:05:00.002+08:002008-08-22T14:05:37.422+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Yesterday...Digital Systems Test...The output? I'm sure that I'm <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">FAIL</span> for that test...Really blur at that time...Just can envy my friend doing all of them like a piece of cake...While I...Wait to se emy <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">FAIL</span> result...What I can do now is make sure my Final is doing ok...But to get a B now for my Digital Systems also seems impossible...Coz besides my Fail DS Mid-Term, my Lab Session also <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">FAIL</span>...Unlike my many other friend success with their work...I ...Really need to say sorry to my patner...Coz he and me are in the same table...Maybe I shouldn't do anything at all and let him do...Coz it is proven that if he is the one doing the Lab it'll succeed...But if me most of the time(99%) sure <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">FAIL</span>...<br /><br />After the test I busy doing my report...The output? Looks like every one of them also <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">WRONG WORNG WRONG!</span> But need to submit also...Well...Now I'm extremely tired...Coz of that report I havn't sleep till now...Then later need to go to the YTM Camp at Port Dickson some more...Compulsory one...<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">DIE LO!</span> Report...Assignment...Havn't finished yet but need to go liao! My precious 3 days a!!!!! T.T Really want to CRY CRY CRY~~~~~<br /><br />If these continue for sure next sem my scholarship will deducted as for my bad result...I think I have no choice but to do the old way : <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Study Study Study Only</span>...No choice...Coz for a stupid person like me can't be like those scan one time can sraight away understand and remember de Genius...Those Genius can be as relax as they are but while for me I shouldn't...Yet I'm doing it! Now great lo! Test low low mark while other...Adui...Maybe I seriously need to change my style liao...Which is study study study...Coz actually U come to University is to obtain a Degree...But the prob is u can't get Degree with just merely CGPA 2.00! Atleast also need 3.00! But according to my progress, I have doubt whether I can pass 3.00 or not! I think I do understand why my parents not really like me for joining activities...Coz they know I won'yt hav enough time to study...I think is quite true...Genius no need talk la! 1 hour also can finish liao...But a stupid like me need 2~3 days to understand...That also if I'm that lucky to understand all of them! Stupid me...Useless me...<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">WHY I'M SO USELESS???</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>Worry! Worry! Worry! Suddenly think want to give up all the activities and just study only...Do Assignment, report etc onli...So tension! I don wan my pointer so down!!! Even though I'm so stupid and useless!!!<br /><br />V, somehow I think what are ur comment mean actually but the prob is...I just can find my lousy part...Which is a whole of me...Well...I would like to hear from u which is my Good Part...I really interested to hear that...Coz I think I don hav any...<br /><br />Waaaa~~~Really don know what to do a...For a person that stupid and useless till no medicine can heal liao de...Wu wu wu wu...T.T<br /><br />Sob...Sob...Sob...<br />T.T <br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2164722448257959741?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-37466871331364964732008-08-20T16:27:00.005+08:002008-08-20T17:32:27.191+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Tomorrow...Digital System Test...Yet...I feel like I will just fail the Mid-Term test...Don know why...Feel so down...<br /><br />Yesterday...Yu Xuan Birthday...At Secret Recipe...3 ppl don't want to come at the last minit and at that time I really really...Dissapointed...I know is because of my terrible planning...If not at Secret Recipe yesterday will be more fun...I don't know whether is my wrong notice or wat but I sort of see that Yu Xuan is a bit of dissapointed...Well...Not a big surprise for her...Since my plan is already out to no where at that time...Sorry...<br /><br />Today...Even worse...Digital Systems Lab...I can only saw others happy celebrating finish their Lab Experiement while I...Fail again...Mati-mati??? What the heck are Mr.P teaching? DS? Worse...Japanese? Want to cry...Not because of don know what Sensei said, but because of one song that Sensei sang...<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Kyu Sakamoto</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sukiyaki (I look up when I walk)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">ue o muite arukou</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">namida ga kobore naiyouni</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">omoidasu harunohi</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hitoribotchi no yoru</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">ue o muite arukou</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">nijinda hosi o kazoete</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">omoidasu natsunohi</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hitoribotchi no yoru</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">shiawase wa kumo no ueni</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">shiawase wa sora no ueni</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">ue o muite arukou</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">namida ga kobore naiyouni</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">nakinagara aruku</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hitoribotchi no yoru</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">whistling</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">omoidasu akinohi</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hitoribotchi no yoru</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">kanashimi wa hosino kageni</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">kanashimi wa tsukino kageni</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">ue o muite arukou</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">namida ga kobore naiyouni</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">nakinagara aruku</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">hitoribotchi no yoru</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(whistling)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-----------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Translation:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Remembering those happy spring days</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But tonight I'm all alone</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">I look up when I walk, counting the stars with tearful eyes</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Remembering those happy summer days</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But tonight I'm all alone</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Happiness lies beyond the clouds</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Happiness lies above the sky</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Though my heart is filled with sorrow</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">For tonight I'm all alone</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">whistling</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Remembering those happy autumn days</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But tonight I'm all alone</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Though my heart is filled with sorrow</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">For tonight I'm all alone</span><br /><br />This song really resonate so much to my heart...Hide my feelings always I have been...Wearing a smiley face while my face is sad I have always been...Look up to the sky...Alone I have always been...Happiness...Just like the song says...Lies beyond the sky...Above the cloud...Can't reach...While Sadness hides and lurks in the shadow...Always stay with me...<br /><br />Feeling so down right now...Feeling so tired now...But...I really don't know...What I really want...Why is so hard to become a human? I like a person but I can't like...I'm doing something that lie to myself for this long!!! My face is happy while I'm sad! I tell myself I didn't like that girl but I like!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: verdana;font-size:130%;" >WHY??? WHY IS SO HARD??? I'M NOT EVEN MYSELF ALREADY! WHO AM I??? WHO AM I?</span><br /><br />I look up when I walk...<br />Looking at the sky...Alone...<br />Try to see...Is there any answer for me...<br />To lift out of all these sadness...<br />To make me become a Heartless...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3746687133136496473?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-41705799971140336062008-08-17T21:44:00.002+08:002008-08-17T22:04:54.983+08:00随着宗伟耻辱的惨败，也代表着马来西亚奥运之战的结束了...总的奖牌只是一面银牌...其他都惨败收场...我还真的不知该说什么了...<br /><br />为什么我说宗伟耻辱的惨败呢？好吧...或许你们会觉得我说的太离谱了，毕竟还是有一面银牌啊！好吧...我跟你们说下分数吧！让你们来评估下到底我说的对不对...<br /><br />第一场 ： <span style="font-weight: bold;">林丹</span> VS <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">宗伟</span><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> 21</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">12</span><br /><br />还好？ Ok...<br /><br />第二场 ： <span style="font-weight: bold;">林丹</span> VS <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">宗伟</span><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">21</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">8</span><br /><br />...............................<br /><br />太失望了！简直是输到一败涂地！脸都丢光给中国了！宗伟怎么搞的？如果谁有看那场比赛的话你们一定知道宗伟简直就不是林丹的对手！我的天啊！<br /><br />不过比起其他的，宗伟是好那么一点，因为至少有一个银牌做安慰奖...其他的都早都可以打包回马来西亚喝牛奶了...我可以说，在这样下去以后马来西亚参加什么运动都好都不用看了...因为马来西亚到最后都输定的！看来干嘛？让自己伤心，失望？<br /><br />马来西亚的羽球在这样下去的话以后对到中国就会像奥运这样...输到...我都不想讲了...<br /><br />为马来西亚的体育举丧吧！直到马来西亚的体育有好转的一天...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-4170579997114033606?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-60077585677687456442008-08-13T22:57:00.002+08:002008-08-13T23:09:47.122+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Sadness...Dissapointness...Loliness...Darkness...They are come again...Don't know why but suddenly I want to cry so much...Yet I can't cry...There is like some force keep pushing my urge to cry back...It make me so uneasy...Inside me like being stop by something...Can't breath...<br /><br />So cold...Out there is so hot yet inside me is so cold...Tomorrow got quiz yet no mood study...If continue like this I as well no need go to 2morrow class since I confirm fail if like this...<br /><br />I know 2morrow I'll "Hihihaha" to everyone but yet I know...I just cheat to myself...I'm not happy at all...Yet I smile...Yet I laugh...<br /><br />So envy other person sometimes...Coz they can laugh down to their heart...But I can't...Since the time left me I can't anymore...Since I wear the mask to let me stay alive I can't anymore...Yes...I need the mask to survive...To atleast make me easy to laugh easy to smile...Atleast I can smile and laugh...Despite I'm not...Happy at that time...<br /><br />I don't know what happen to me...Yet I know...These sensation...Are the one that urge me...<br /><br />"<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">WHY U LIVE? U R JUST A NUISANCE IN THIS WORLD...WHAT FOR U LIVE WHILE U R NOT YOURSELF? U JUST LIVE A CHEATING LIFE! I CAN'T IMAGINE U CAN LIVE IN THIS KIND OF LIFE...JUST END IT! AND U WON'T FEEL ALL THESE ANYMORE! ISN'T THAT SIMPLE AND CLEAN?</span>"<br /><br />So strange...I thought I have escape them...But I realised that...I didn't...They still here...Deep inside me...<br /><br />I don't know what'll happen to me in the future...Maybe end up badly...I can only live till I can hold on...Till I can control myself...If I can't? Well...Maybe this blog will never be renew again...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6007758567768745644?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-35688628833194819492008-08-13T17:03:00.002+08:002008-08-13T17:08:45.164+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Well...Today my Math Test I mark finally revealed...And my mark is...Lowwwwww...Feeling so bad...I know that my Maths really bad but...Is really hurt my feelings...When I get the marks...Feel like want to cry...<br /><br />I really hate maths! Maybe that's why really...Bad...I just having my Database Mid-Term test too yesterday...Even though I looks like don't care don't care but I know actually deep in my heart I'm not satisfied what I have done...I know I can do better...But yet...<br /><br />2morrow got Japanese Quiz again...I don't know I can get a good marks or not...Then next week got 1 quiz and 2 Mid-Term test...Waaa...Feel like want to die a...<br /><br />Out there is a Sun-Blazing day, but deep inside me is a Dark-Moody night...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3568862883319481949?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-77099249599747761192008-08-09T20:26:00.003+08:002008-08-09T23:10:00.007+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">故事是开始在今天凌晨大约三点的时候，那时候我被一阵电话声惊醒了，赶快去接电话，然而听了却听不到任何声音，所以我以为是有人玩电话而盖掉继续睡觉，可是刚睡不久电话又在响了起来，没办法之下我只好再次起来接听，这次从电话传出来的是我二姑的声音，说是要找爸爸，那时候的我不知怎的即刻有一个不祥的预感，可是我还是叫我爸起来听电话...当我爸听完电话后，我问我爸发生了什么事，我爸只是简短的说我婆婆进医院了...当时听到这句话的我即刻当场傻掉！可能我爸爸也不要我担心，更何况还是凌晨，所以便叫我去睡，明天才去看婆婆...我也照我爸爸说的到头就睡了...<br /><br />早上爸爸就早早叫醒我叫我陪他去瓜拉比劳医院看我婆婆，我立刻弹起来刷牙洗脸，然后就在大约八点启程了...到了医院，找了一找，终于到了我婆婆的病房，我一进去看，我的心即刻一酸...我看到我婆婆很辛苦地躺在病床上...整脸青青的...正在辛苦地呼吸着...我差点还没哭出来！问了其他亲戚后也问不出个所以然来...因为主诊医生还没登场...他妈的！我骂到！我婆婆那时看起来像剩半条命了医生却还没来？有没有搞错?<br /><br />后来医生还是来了，帮我婆婆看了看，问了问，才跟我们说应该没问题，可是还是要等医药报告才能知道...我的天啊！还要等？不过知道初步观察应该是没事也让我觉得好一点...<br /><br />打了点滴后的几小时后，幸好我婆婆的病情稍微有起色，至少呼吸没这么辛苦了，体温也降了，能讲到一点话了...看到这一切的我突然觉得压在我心口的石头也稍微轻了...<br /><br />之后从我公公才知道事情的来龙去脉...我婆婆昨天割胶回来冲了凉后，就跟我公公说她很冷，之后我婆婆就睡觉了...然后我婆婆也有去看医生然后吃药，可是到了晚上我公公看到我婆婆还是将辛苦就觉得不对劲，快快打电话给我小姑叫她来看下该怎么办...我小姑看到这情景也想到事态严重所以就送我婆婆来到了医院...那时的值勤医生就帮我婆婆抽了血就送去验...结果那份医药报告过了超过十二小时才出炉！当然那是之后的事...<br /><br />所以我和我爸就陪我婆婆到差不多四点半才回吉隆坡...不是不想陪我婆婆更久，而是因为家计...更何况我二姑也来到照顾我婆婆了...于是跟婆婆说再见后就启程会吉隆坡了...<br /><br />愿上天大慈大悲让我婆婆早日好起来...因为真的好心疼...看到她这样...<br /><br />后记 ： 医药报告终于在刚刚七点晚上出炉了...欣慰的是报告显示一切正常...所以套句医生的话是普通感染发烧而已...而对于我们呢就是热气过头发烧...为什么呢？因为我那贪吃的婆婆一连吃了两大粒榴櫣后还喝了一杯咖啡！你说热不热气？而我知道后也不知应该觉得好气还是好笑的好！我只知道当她好了一定给我讲得臭头！拜托！老了就要看着来吃啊！真是的...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7709924959974776119?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-81441491601156013172008-08-05T19:54:00.000+08:002008-08-05T19:57:08.411+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">哦...我病了...不知怎的...头痛 + 肚子痛 + 泻肚子 + 心痛...Walau...怎么一病就病到这么厉害？我的天啊！总觉得很累...看样子我的一个礼拜假期就将泡汤了...可恶的病！<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8144149160115601317?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-15102568416282256122008-08-05T00:43:00.004+08:002008-08-05T19:50:40.777+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">其实我不止一次被我爸妈骂我傻了...为什么呢？因为我总是无怨无悔的帮朋友...不要求回报...就拿今天来说，我妈说：“ 你都傻的，为何做那位已经有了男友的女孩子的护花使者呢？如果她没有男友的话还说一下...你知道如果你回家几近你知道吗？却为了陪她而每天回到这么远！她不会自己回吗？”<br /><br />我就回应说我总不能让一个女孩子自己一个人回吧？更何况这份工是我找给她的，我当然要负责任啊！而且做人不要把利益看得这么重！不要因为我没机会追她就睬她都傻！说到底她是我的朋友啊！<br /><br />这就是现在人们的问题！把利益看得太重了！有利用价值的，就靠前去！没用的呢，睬你都傻！Walau! 为何现在的人这么会耍心机了？难道帮一个人需要企图的吗？难道帮一个人就一定要回报的吗？<br /><br />我以前也被人讲我傻...因为以前的我虽然不是班长，没人感谢过我做的东西，但是我还是帮我的同班同学...从来没要求过任何东西...朋友说我只是劳累我自己而已...帮朋友也是一样！可是我相信，帮一个人是不需要理由的！只要那位向我要帮忙的是位好人，做的东西是好事，而在我的能力范围内的话，我一定帮到底！（你总不能帮抢匪打枪吧？）<br /><br />不知你们有留意到吗？当你成功的帮了一个人后，你会觉得很高心？其实那已经是最好的回报了！因为那种感觉是你用多少金钱都买不到的！为什么还要求回报呢？例如请吃啊什么之类的...我有一位朋友因为我帮她修理电脑就要给我钱，我立刻拒绝了！可能你们会觉得我傻，为何连钱都不要，或者是认为我在讲我多好人...可是我觉得真心的帮助是不用回报的！如果有回报了那不叫帮忙了！是交换！买卖！更何况我也不见得好到哪里去...要不然我的生活哪里跑来这么多遗憾？<br /><br />我的确也埋怨过为何他们没珍惜我的努力，不过后来想了想别把利益与回报看得这么重就算了...的确...人总是要有点自私...我不否认...但是别连帮忙都算在利益下啊！所以其实我也还需要检讨...<br /><br />可能我真的很傻...不过...每个人都有他的价值观吧...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1510256841628225612?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-33951713005857497282008-08-04T01:41:00.006+08:002008-08-05T19:46:28.597+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">最近的我很懒在写题目了...因为每一个Post都有很多种内容...没有适合的题目...其实是有啦！基本上这个 Post 也是因为这三天所发生的事才诞生的...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">废话少说</span>，归入正题吧！<br /><br />在1/8/2008，也就是上个星期五，是 2008 PIKOM PC FAIR 的第一天，也是我与她做工的第一天...什么？做工？没错！是做 Promoter 啦！谁有在之前读过我的 Blog 的，就会知道我曾经在刘碟广场做过两个月的 Promoter ...所以呢早在三个星期前我的上头即 Alex 先生就打电话给我问我要不要做 Part Time，毕竟在我停止工作前我曾经要求过如果以后有 PC Fair 的话记得 Call 我...而那时候我也有问我的朋友要不要做...有两个说要，可是到最后真正去做的只有一个...<br /><br />无论如何，因为星期五我和她上课上到 12 点，所以我们被逼迟了 3 个小时才到 KLCC Convention Centre 即PC Fair 的地点...当然，我们是赶到要命...赶到那里了，就在什么东西都没吃的情况下，换上制服，开工了！<br /><br />在这三天里...确实是累的要死...说实在的...明明就累的半条命，却还有精神写这篇文章，还真是让我觉得奇怪透顶...可能毕竟真的是心情不好吧...说实在的...这三天我不止要想尽办法推完我公司的产品，还要照顾“她”...她跟我说她很累，她不知道的是...我比她更累...因为我还要花多几分精神去...可以说是“保护”她吧？毕竟这份工是我帮她找的...所以我觉得我必须保护她的安全...让她无惊无险的过她的三天 Part Time 生活...要不然如果她有什么三长两短，我两条命都不够死呢！为什么呢？因为第一条命我会给她家人杀，第二条命我会给她男友杀...（Owwww...）不过我毫无怨言...哈！<br /><br />所以...我的任务就在我等她在巴士站集合那一刻开始...而我从那一刻开始也开始慌了...我从来没有过这种经验！就是跟一个女孩子将双双对对的出去！从来没有！拜托！谁要跟像我这样...算了吧！所以呢...我每隔几秒就要看下她在哪里了...因为怕她人生地不熟...万一我走太快她跟不上而失踪了就惨了...教她怎样搭巴士来吉隆玻...尽量时常陪着她...还有其他的啦...总之我这三天就总是不安心...天天都在担心她！万一她因为这份工有什么差错的话，那我真的是要以死谢罪了！<br /><br />第一天放工时，由于我们的朋友有坐车来，所以在她的通知下，我就想到让她跟我朋友的车回...那我呢？由于我朋友的车加了她就已经满了，所以我就必须一个人回...也不要紧反正我也必须做实验...即从 KLCC 赶到 Pasar Seni 要多少时间...而且我也考虑到万一迟到了我跟她就没的回了...所以我就让她跟我朋友回了...可是当我踏入火车时我就开始担心了...因为我的那位朋友还有 3 位朋友是一起来的...也就是说那辆车中只有她一个女生！那是我真的很怕！我知道他们是好人但是把一个女孩子推给四个男孩子...整个感觉好像根本就不对了！结果那天晚我担心了很久，直到我 MSN 她有 Reply 后我才放下心头大石！证明她已经安全抵达她房间了！<br /><br />第二天呢，没什么特别...第三天即最后一天，当她在MSN里回答我 "Yes" 的时候，我知道...我的任务已经算是圆满结束了...这三天里她平安无事的做了三天Part Time...哇...还真是...辛苦呢！想在巴士睡觉，却又怕巴士转弯时碰到她惊醒她...因为我知道...她虽然说她很好，事实上是累得要命...所以我不想干扰到她的休息...<br /><br />当然...由于我跟她是一对式出现，所以也惹了不少绯闻...不少人问我她是不是我的女友...Well...她不是...她是人家的男友...当然大多数人都会说抢她过来，可是我知道我不能...拜托！人家已有男友了！抢过来难免太过分了吧？还要我做第三者？Walau！不过，要不喜欢这么可爱阳光式的女孩子确实是难吧？哈哈...不过我知道...就算她没有男友，以我的条件...根本配不上她...<br /><br />我没忘记过...我的命运...更何况我也做过一次第三者...结果呢？我跌的好痛...经历了这么多，我已经死心了...什么缘分还没到的，算了吧！我知道我有几分斤两！像我这种垃圾是没人要的！<br /><br />所以我早就决定了...我不会再试了！我要做一位无心者！不要再有心去爱了！当然，朋友与家人我还是爱的...就是不要那个儿女私情的爱！<br /><br />还是朋友最好...什么都不用烦！当然我知道当我的全部朋友都已经有了他/她们自己的生活后，我就会孤独一人了...也不要紧...反正当一个人死了就算他多少个朋友，爱人，到最后也是自己一个人躺在棺材中入土为安...不是吗？每个人到最后还是孤单的...所以对于我而言也没差...<br /><br />说实在我已经想好了当我老了要去哪里度过我的晚年...我会想去靠海的宁静地方安居下来，每天望向那片蓝蓝的天空，被海风吹...享受那片与世无争的感觉...死的时候是在老人椅子上随着海浪声与海风吹之下安详一个人走...哇...多么棒啊！<br /><br />大家可能觉得为何我的思想这么黑...我只能说，如果你们的命运跟我一样的话你们也会和我一样的...只是因为你们的命比我好，所以你们不了解...我很感激你们当中有人劝过我...可是我已经进入黑暗...再也不能回头了...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3395171300585749728?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-27138878757608029422008-07-24T23:36:00.004+08:002008-07-25T00:24:02.667+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);"> Today...I skipped my important Akido class...Why you say? Well...I attended a special activity...For some group of people it was not special but for some group of people, it was special...Hehe...Maybe some of you may ask what was that activity? Err...For sensitive issues I can't tell here...What I can say is that activity I'm the only one from my category attended to there...And the outcome??? I really get something that probably more value than what I learn in Akido...<br /><br /> Wow! You people may say...What is that 'something' that I get from there? Well...What I get is something that may lead me to the different road from my group...Which mean maybe I'll end up alone...Which one of the friend in that activities remind me...Yes...I know...I already know when I have a mind on want to walk to that different road...2 years ago...So actually that "something" will change my life...And I believe, if I choose that path, everyone will be shocked! But what can I do? Coz that road for me is the road to the truth...<br /><br /> "<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">To obtain something you must lose something that equivalent or more than it...</span>"<br /><br /> Yes...I know that theory since 3 years back...And I prepare to lose them...<br /><br /> Maybe is already destined...My path will differ with others...And in the end, I'll end up alone...But I know...No matter what path I choose, my destiny will still end up alone...So basically, there are no harm for me if I choose that road...<br /><br /> Well...Everyone will end up alone...When the moment you die, you are alone...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2713887875760802942?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-10134097528905708742008-07-14T13:51:00.002+08:002008-07-14T14:38:45.538+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> Well...After a while break, moodless and laziness, I have come back...To write blog again...Geez...Of course some things happens and...Quite some surprise also...Since in 2 days 3 of my first time had occur...What were they? Well...<br /><br /> Last Saturday, there is an Ice-Breaking Tour for my new joined club which is called Emina Club...Strange the club name is? Well just back spell the "Emina" and you'll know...But on the same day I gonna went out with my seniors to buy Roller Skate...What? Roller Skate? Yup! Is Roller Skate...For my unoffical club which is Roller Skate Club...Why it is unoffical u might ask...Well since that club never register as a club...Practically speaking it is just like a Roller Skate Lovers gathering...But it is really cool!<br /><br /> So the story goes...The Screening start at 1.00pm(which is part of the agenda of the Tour) at Cineleisure Damansara and I went to Skateline which was also at Damansara on 11am...After saw the price...(Which sweat me a lot here...Thanks to the price...) I choose K2 Brand Skate called Aspire which cost me RM377.10...Sob Sob...I need to puasa everyday liao...But no choice since I do want to skate...Then after with the help of my senior, Su, I managed to arrive on time to the screening...Ok...This is my first first time occur - <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The first time I watch a movie in VIP Room!</span> </span>Wow! The chairs...So nice! U won't get headache or any part of body ache even u sit for 2 hours! Haha! The movie title was "<span style="font-style: italic;">1.0 Evangelion : You are not alone</span>" Well something like that...Quite nice la the movie...<br /><br /> Then afterward we have 1 hour free time, at 4.00pm, we ride bus to go to...<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Bon Odori!</span> A Japan festival that held in Malaysia! Well...I heard that that Bon odori actually is a festival that honours the dead...So one of the rules of going there is no cosplay! As it sounds insulting...Well...Honours the dead...Anyway I got a new friend while in the bus and she is the one that break not only one, but 3 of my first time...<br /><br /> Actually I have no friend to accompany me in this trip...So I thought I'll just a Lone Ranger...Again in this trip...But thanks to her, this trip is more meaningful...So back to the story...We arrive at Panasonic Stadium, Shah Alam around 6 I think...And the first thing me and my new friend do was - Find Japanese Foods! And I really got one advice here my friends...Is better if u bring many money if u want to try every japanese foods that available there and remember to arrive early if u don wan to queue a long way b4 u get what u want...<br /><br /> Well...We eat some only actually...Including the Oiishii japanese Curry Rice, buy some japanese crakers, small water ball which i already gave to my kawaii classmate and some other things...On 7.15pm the event started with the opening which is the presentation of Big Drum...I'm not sure how they called it...Is whether Daigo or Taigo...And followed by Cultural Dance...After the cultural dance was Guest Performance...<br /><br /> Overall the Guest performance is ok la...Just that not that syok...Coz no Sabanyashi...Something like that...What is that actually? Well...Is a song that fisherman of Japan thanks to the God for good harvest of the fish...And me and my new friend joined the cultural dance again...There were 3 cultural dance and we joined the third one...This was where she break my 2nd first time...<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">My first time holding a girl hand, other than my sister</span>...Haha...Sad isn't it? But is true...Well, it happened when we hold each other hand to dance...But nothing happen la, coz just dance what!<br /><br /> Then after the last dance we went back to MMU Cyberjaya...And that's when she broke my third first time...<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">First time I have a cosplayer as my friend</span>...Well for me she is one of a kind since out of many of my friend I never have a friend which is a cosplayer...She is the first one...Wow...<br /><br /> Well...That's all for my saturday...After I dropped down from the bus I straight away went to skate with my friend and Yam Cha till 2am...Haha...<br /><br /> Hope next time I can go to Bon Odori again...^^<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1013409752890570874?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-4660289354593766652008-07-04T23:34:00.001+08:002008-07-04T23:35:19.628+08:00<div style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);"><b> <p><span style="font-size:85%;">Di Balik Awan</span></p></b> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Ku tak selalu begini</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Terkadang hidup memilukan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Jalan yang kulalui</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Untuk sekedar bercerita</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Pegang tanganku ini</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Dan rasakan yang kuderita</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Apa yang kuberikan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tak pernah jadi kehidupan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Semua yang kuinginkan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Menjauh dari kehidupan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tempat kumelihat di balik awan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Aku melihat di balik hujan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tempatku berdiam tempat bertahan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Aku terdiam di balik hujan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">a… aa… a…</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Pegang tanganku ini</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Dan rasakan yang kuderita</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Genggam tanganku ini</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Genggam perihnya kehidupan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Apa yang kuberikan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tak pernah jadi kehidupan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Semua yang kuinginkan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Menjauh dari kehidupan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tempat kumelihat di balik awan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Aku melihat di balik hujan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Tempatku berdiam tempat bertahan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Aku terdiam di balik hujan</span></em></p> <p><em><span style="font-size:85%;">a… aa… a…</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-family:Segoe UI;font-size:100%;">Impian...Dengan kenyataan dan kehidupan...Napa begitu jauhnya jaraknya antara mereka...</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:Segoe UI;font-size:100%;">Biar la...Saya diam...Di balik hujan...</span></p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-466028935459376665?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-62372909899292175902008-07-04T21:21:00.003+08:002008-07-04T22:03:45.391+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(153, 153, 153);"> 说起来，我已经在MMU三个礼拜了...（除了迎新周之外...）过得怎样？唔...以目前的情况来看...似乎历史要重演了...没错...黑暗的历史...<br /><br /> 昨天，我正式上我的第一堂合气道课...蛮好玩的说是在...但是之后的痛楚以及跟不上老师的教导再次证明了我的无能...现在我的身体痛得...我的天！尤其是脚...唉...想平时走路急得我现在被逼慢步的走...还真折磨呢...<br /><br /> 不过今天开始就开始倒霉的要命了...首先是我的笨电脑！竟然可以Windows Corrupt! 我的天啊！害的我心烦意乱了整天...幸亏还修的回...要不然我的资料就报销了...<br /><br /> 我的数学...说实在的...我愧对我以前的数学老师...因为我把他们所教的都统统给回他们了...简直就是糟糕！我的Quiz才在20分里拿到7分罢了...我的天啊！怎么我这么没用？？？<br /><br /> 我的老毛病又在发作了...不知道为什么...又在发作了...说起来过了三个礼拜才发作已经算是一个奇迹了...因为我还以为老毛病会在进来MMU之后 直接发作...可是却拖到现在...还以为不会再发作了...可是...还是难逃宿命...这或许是我的宿命吧...<br /><br /> 我...持续在光与暗中来回穿梭...我本来就应该呆在黑暗中，可是我却还在期待...去光中期待...结果反而被光所伤...伤得很惨...我才发觉到我是暗...暗那能在光逗留？我几时才能醒呢？难道要彻底消失在光中才觉悟吗？我不知道...<br /><br /> 觉得很孤单...想要找一个朋友...让我好好的躺在她的怀抱...让我尽情的哭个够...哭完我所有的痛苦与无奈...讲完我所有的心事出来...奈何...没有...<br /><br /> 我的命运...没变过...因为时间早在三年前离我而去...一切...只是原地踏步...伤心...失望...黑暗...一切...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6237290989929217590?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-57269063157058451052008-06-17T23:35:00.002+08:002008-06-17T23:36:27.248+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">There have been a long time I didn't write blog oledi...Well just don't have any mood to write any...Of course lots of things have happen since the last blog entry and...Well...Just don't have mood...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Finally I continue my study in Multimedia University Cyberjaya...After working full time yet only 2 months in Bizcode as a Promoter base in Sri Comp Low Yat...Well...I learned a lot even though only 2 months...And of course get a lot of friends...Yu Hua, Phan, Apis, Zaim, Uncle Sheng, Uncle Leong, Maria, Dollah, Micheal, Pei Jing, Ah Miao (..... Till now I also don't know why ppl call him this name...) and other staff in Sri Comp...Sure a memorable experience I have! And of course my working company staff : Mei Ling, Sunny, and others that I'm not so remember oledi...(Don't blame me k? I just go there for 3 times only...To report duty...) Plus of course Alex which is my supervisor...I can tell u, he is one of the kindnest person I ever meet! He never said anything even though I call him almost everyday to ask him about the product I'm promoting or other question that i don't know...Really hope can work with him again...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Kind of hard to leave Sri Comp...Although the work can be kind of tiring but I truly like the job actually...Yup it is true you'll not get used to the big shop environment but once u used to it, u'll truly like the place and work!<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> On 8th June 2008, which is also the registeration day for MMU Cyber...And also the start of the orientation week...But I didn't went for that orientation...Just register only...Maybe u all will say why I didn't go? Ok...Coz I got another thing that is lots more important to do! Which is I went for the Bengkel Pemilihan YTM...Which is the third round of choosing who is the one that will get the scholarship from TM...And I hope is the last one...4 days of Bengkel...And it is really not easy at all...In that 4 days I need to debate on the issues that YTM give to us...Basically they come to see our general knowledge, our personnal attitude and much more...Since the people TM hire to test us are all professional phychologies...But still, it is quite fun...Since I get many knowledge also from that Bengkel...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Wish God let me get the scholarship again...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> So now...I'm in my hostel room now...Typing this blog entry...Actually don't know why I feel a bit lost...Like lost something but I don't know what I lost...And I realize that I'm already not sharing my heart to her liao...Like I do b4 during my Diploma time...And I really become low profile in MMU...Unlike b4 in Diploma time where everyone know me the 1st week I come in...So which mean no friends at all for me to share my feelings...In MMU...I still don't know yet my life in MMU will be more worse or better...yet..I didn't hope very much either...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> After read her blog, feel happy for her as look like she have a new crash le...(Crash of Love...Not clash of cannes, car, motor, or wat ever you can think...) Pray her that she will get Happiness soon...Coz really sad to see her at that time...But me leh? When will I get happiness leh? Maybe never...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Really wish every friend of mine can be happy always...No matter where they are...<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span> <br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> I think I'll stop here...Coz I don't know what to say liao...If got mood then I'll be here again...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-5726906315705845105?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-7463082868054787142008-06-17T23:35:00.001+08:002008-06-17T23:35:51.288+08:00<span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">星期四那天，及时约了两位旧朋友见面...其实还蛮开心的，因为那天终于遇到了我很久没有见而且很想见的人...虽然只有短短那一小时，但也足够了...</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 好啦，本来是要和她谈些快乐的事情，但是...不知怎的却事与愿违谈回到伤心的东西了...我还真是个大笨蛋！我是想让她开心的，但是...却给我弄得...</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 她的人生已经够悲惨的了，我实在是不应该再让她伤心的...但笨到无可救药的我却可以超离谱的谈到让她伤心的事情去...Walau！永顺！你也是在够笨的也！</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 因此我觉得以后还是别跟她联络的好，非是她的大好心情给我弄得乌云满天，那我就罪大恶极了...</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 对不起哦！怡...以后我不会打给你了...免得又让你担心...</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 但是这却对我不好...以后我有什么心事要找谁呢？我不想找任何一个人，因为我不想我的朋友因为我的事而烦...但是这样的话我却怕我承受不住这一切...</span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 我茫然了...到底我该怎么办？</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-746308286805478714?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-21164417635797924782008-06-17T23:34:00.000+08:002008-06-17T23:35:18.177+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; font-family: verdana; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"><span style="font-size:85%;">Thank you to all of you! Who send all those Birthday Wishes message and some friends who celebrate my Birthday...Thank you so much! You all have make my 21st Birthday an unforgettable day! All these memory I'll keep in my heart and never forget!<br /><br />So...Let's see...Thanks to Mom and Dad, my brothers and my siblings, all my relative, Shin Yee, Wai, Nurul Syafiqah, Khadijah, Fatihah, Ayu, Chee Khean, Siw May, Vivien, 志忠, Pei Chi, Teng Teng, Shu Ying, Chai Hung, Fuey Sun, Liyana, Nina, Siti Khadijah, Phui Mun, Yuan Feng, Chaied, Li Jun, Kak Hasnah, Hans, Chun Woei, Azlan, Jie Xin, Poh Yee, Yet Moi, Chee Weng, Pik Siew, Yu Hua and her friend (Sorry don know her name...), Thuren, Seet Yee, Siew Ken , Sarah Shafawati and to those who are want to wish but can't due some reason...Thanks! To you all!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Thank You!</span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2116441763579792478?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-12524247519834711922008-06-17T23:32:00.000+08:002008-06-17T23:33:09.264+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">14 minutes more...Then I'll be 21 years old already...Wow...I never thought that after experiencing many Heart-Broken event I can survive until now...Well...All this time the thought that want to jump off the roof have exist not only one but many times in my brain so...<br /><br /> Actually...For me to stay alive till now I need to say a million Thanks to all my friends! All the support from you all have help me to keep my feet back from the high high sky...So...Thanks everyone!<br /><br /> 21...Well ppl often says that it is already adult...But for me is different...Since Time have leave me 3 years ago...So even though I'm 21 years old my physical and mental still in 18...I think it'll be the same in the future unless the Time have find me back and warp me to the age I suppose to be...<br /><br /> Birthday Wishes??? Well...After all those heart-Broken scenes, I know that all those wishes to me won't work...So...I'll giv it to all my family and friends! So...I wish that everyone could be happy and safe everyday, for anyone that havn't couple, I wish that you all will get your soul mate which is very kind while for couples, I wish that you all will together and happily ever after...Everyone no worries!<br /><br /> Hmm...<br /><br /> Happy Birthday to me...<br /> Happy Birthday to me...<br /> Happy Birthday to me...<br /> Happy Birthday to me!</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1252424751983471192?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-14721149844241556442008-06-17T23:29:00.000+08:002008-06-17T23:32:09.887+08:00<p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">大概还有40分钟，我就21岁了...哇...经历了这么多事情想不到我竟然还能活到现在迎来我的21岁生日...哈哈...当然啦！过去这几年想寻死的念头可是不止出现一次呢！所以我觉得很晓幸我还能活到现在... </p><p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 其实能活到现在...朋友们！还真的需要谢谢你们呢！没有你们或许现在的我都不能在这里等待我自己的21岁生日了...所以...非常的感谢你们！ </p><p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 21岁了...人家说大人了...可是我与其他人不同...因为时间早在三年前就已离我而去...所以...就算我21岁了，无论外形上还是心理上还是18岁...或许以后都会是这样吧！谁知道呢？因为如果时间找回我并且把我拉回与他/她们的同等时间，那就一样了... </p><p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 生日愿望？经过了这么多风风雨雨，破碎我心的经历，早已在黑暗里的我不相信愿望会成真了...所以，我把它留给我的亲朋好友吧！希望我的家人与及朋友个个天天都平平安安，快快乐乐，有拍拖的白头偕老，没怕拖的找到一位好的另一半！个个都没烦恼！ </p><p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Hmm... </p><p style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 祝我生日快乐...<br /> 祝我生日快乐...<br /> 祝我生日快乐...<br /> 祝我生日快乐!</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-1472114984424155644?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-75101942270512820262008-04-12T22:48:00.002+08:002008-04-25T00:22:53.460+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">改变...改变...这是我朋友见到我都会谈到的两个字...“好心你<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">改变</span>下你自己啦！” “你还真的是一点都没<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">改变</span>到！” 哈哈！看！与老朋友他/她们见面总免不了这两个字...<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 不过，我的朋友们确实是变了很多...个个都变了...男的就变得更帅，更有男子气概了，女呢就越来越漂亮，温柔...但男女双方却是成熟了！而...帅与及成熟呢我却没有...</span><br /><br /> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">说到这里其实我也奇怪，仿佛在全部人之中，只有我还是三年前的样子...仿佛时间在三年前已离我而去...所以我还是老样子...而他/她们因为有时间陪着，所以他/她们成长了...</span> <div><br /> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">哈...怪不得全部都离我而去...因为连时间都离我而去了...还有什么不会离开？</span></div><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7510194227051282026?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-69858952759120863132008-04-11T23:50:00.002+08:002008-04-12T00:14:41.485+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">一切都尘埃落定了...我要走的路...是<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">黑暗无心之道</span>...<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">没有爱，没有光之道</span>...其实早在三年前我就应该走入这一条路，但是我却傻傻的骗自己说会有希望的...好吧！就是因为我的傻，害的我痛苦了整整三年！也好...人说不吃点苦哪里知道味道...苦我已经吃太多了...也怕了...也幸亏这些苦让我终于有了这个决心，这个决定！我决定向这条路前进！不会再犹豫，也不会再回头了！<br /><br /> 你如果读着这个Post的话，我只能说声对不起...我这样做也只是为我们好...也感谢你...因为你给我的痛苦让我觉悟了我这三年来的糊涂！我终于接受事实了！也知道该怎么做才能让我活下去！无痛苦的活下去！<br /><br /> 这是我的命！一个改不了的命运！我只能接受，然后向前走...直到上天要我死为止...就让我在黑暗中活下去吧！或许这对我来说反而是一条生路...<br /><br /> 暗与光...选择暗并不一定是个坏事...毕竟每个人的路都不一样...差别只在你的暗之道是什么样而已...是舍弃希望但还是好人一个或者是做个坏人而已...<br /><br /> 永别了光！希望！幸福！现在我知道我跟你们是无缘的了！之前一直强求你们真不好意思！对不起咯！以后不会再烦你们了！只希望你们能陪伴在我那位朋友那里保佑她...那就够了！我相信她你们一定会喜欢的！永远伴着她哦！<br /><br /> 永别...我的心...</span><a href="javascript:void(0)" tabindex="10" onclick="return false;"><span></span></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6985895275912086313?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-86688563089236026892008-04-10T23:16:00.002+08:002008-04-10T23:32:08.543+08:00"<span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ahead lies what you need...</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">But to gain it, you must lost something dear...</span>"<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">In this past 3 years. yes...I have gain a diploma, with a good result...But...I lost many precious things...Friends, Believes, Happiness, Hopes, Confidence, Loves and many many things! I gain one but lost many...Ha! Is that is the price I need to pay to get the good result and be the top student? I think the answer is yes...Since I have lost so many things now...<br /><br /> If the price is that much, then I rather don't want it! I want friends! Loves! Happiness! And many many things that I have lost before! Why? Why all this happen to me?<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">WHY?????????</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"></span></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-8668856308923602689?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-34582675016833912452008-04-08T23:29:00.002+08:002008-04-09T00:26:02.915+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 今天读了你的Blog后，突然间我流下了眼泪...总觉得你很可怜...不过算了...我也很高兴你能站起来...忘掉过去，重新做人...这真的是一件好事！</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 我有时也在想，我跟你是几时正式认识的呢？应该是小时候六年级我在巴士烦你的时候吧！那时候一直都故意的坐在你的旁边，而你就会很烦...与及脸红吧...呵呵...想回起来还真的是要说声对不起呢！</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 初中一的时候，因为某个人的关系，就算跟你同一班我跟你也不能成为好朋友...有一次还因为她而误伤了你...还真的是对不起唉...但是到了初中二我们才算是朋友了，而你也有了他...我到现在都不会忘记，当他在班里握着你的手你那脸红的样子...在我眼中真的真的很漂亮...可是那时幸运的我并没多想只是将走开而已...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> 我们正式成为好朋友是初中三吧？在我记忆里...那一年是我一生中少数最快乐的时光，皆因我没有被“爱”纠缠上我...又和她和好了...那时候开始其实你在我的生命里已经占了很重要的位置了...一个好朋友...<br /><br /> 那时我记得是你妈知道你拍拖的那一年...结果我就是在那一年受了不白之冤，被你误会我是那个“吃碗底，翻碗底”的人...不过话说回来，那时我倒是没什么怀疑，只是纳闷为何你对我比较“冷”了...或许是我迟钝吧！哈哈！我也是你说出来了才知道原来你曾经对我投下了不信任票...好彩最后证明我是清白的，要不然我不是死的很冤枉？<br /><br /> 不过早在那时候起我已经开始对你有感觉了...<br /><br /> 还记得那时候我曾经有跟你说我有一位朋友喜欢上了他的朋友吗？其实那个朋友就是我而那朋友的朋友是你...那时我是暗示我喜欢你...但不知你是天真还是什么的，你并没有发觉到...说实在的，幸亏你没发觉到...而之后我也放弃了你...因为我不想背叛朋友...不想失去朋友...对不起哦CK! 我不是故意的！不过我问心无愧的是，我从来也没有破坏过你们的感情！还帮你们呢！<br /><br /> 好怀恋以前我们一起去补习，一起回家，一起谈天的日子...还有你那可爱的脸...还有好多好多...永远都不会忘记你的大恩大德...过去的三年我有什么不快乐每次都烦你，但你会安慰我，支持我，给予我劝告，让我有勇气活下去...说实在的，我能活到现在有很大部分是你的功劳...我真的不知该怎么感谢你才好...说实在的，当我知道你与他分了，知道你这么伤心欲绝，却帮不了你...我实在是心痛得要命！因为我真没用！你帮了我这么多而我却只能为你担心但帮不上忙！我好恨我自己！恨我的无能！恨我的无助！我多想帮你们两位和好奈何...<br /><br /> 我是喜欢你，但是我知道适合你的人绝对不可能是我！我曾经说过我心目中的女朋友就是像你这样善解人意又可爱漂亮的女孩子...奈何...到现在为止就是没有一个比得上你！对...我喜欢了几个，可是现在我是怀疑我是真心喜欢她们还是其实我是找着你的代替品呢？我真的很迷惑...<br /><br /> 我知道你的答案了...一切早已在我的预料中...当我在Friendster的“Friends Update”中看到你已经Update Featured Friends时我就已经料到我已经不再其中了...像他一样...结果？给我料中了...当我看了你的Blog...你的答案也早已在我的预料之中了...厉害吧？你或许会问为何我会知道呢？难道我会神机妙算？哈哈！非也非也！因为这些经历我已经体验多到怕了！不详的东西一定会被我料中的！所以...<br /><br /> 看了你的照片，才知道其实天已经在你的相片中泄漏天机了...我与你的结局...我注定的路...还蒙查查？好吧！你和各位不妨比较下我Friendster的Main Photo与及她的Posing照，我想大家就会知道了...<br /><br /> 怎么样？巧吧？你和我其实是不同世界的人...我到现在才正式明白...花了我这么久的时间才正式明白...<br /><br /> 全部都已经离开我了...梦想、奇迹、你、甚至时间也已离我而去...剩下来陪伴我走下去只是黑暗...<br /><br /> 谢谢你，我永远都不会忘记你！你的大恩大德看样子我今世是不可能回报的了...就有待下一世来回报你吧！<br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3458267501683391245?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-25538887988681096852008-04-07T00:32:00.002+08:002008-04-07T00:53:18.788+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> Today when I line up in McDonald, I meet my 2 old school friends in coincidence...Wow! So happy actually! Then of course we eat together la...And have some talk too...While talk to the love part...Sigh...As you all know, nobody will like me...And after the talk, ya...They make me more confirm about this...<br /><br /> I know myself friends...Childish, ugly, and many more teruk points...Kawan...Korang ingat saya tak tahu ka? Saya tahu meh! But the point is...I can't change anymore...I have that chance...These past 3 years......But coz of all the incidents, they all hav make my condition worst...And make me sank into the darkness...Make me want to become a Heartless...Make me unchanged yet...<br /><br /> No late yet you want to change...Yes meh? Maybe...If got any chance...I don't know what will happen in my University life leh! If history repeat then how?<br /><br /> My fate is in the darkness...As a Heartless...That's the only way that I won't get myself sad and disappointed...<br /><br /> I should give up all the light...All the hope...Sank deeper into the darkness...Live in the Darkness...I'll destroy my Heart for Love...<br /><br /> For you, if u read this blog, you'll noticed I have deleted the post about you...Coz I already know what your answer will be...And yes, your answer is exactly what I'm foresight before...Geng leh? Haha...Thanks friends...You all have make my path clear and so...I'll sank into the darkness! No more hesitation!<br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-2553888798868109685?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-77062217413421728922008-04-07T00:14:00.003+08:002008-04-07T00:56:57.472+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Today my friends ask me...What is "Xonos" mean? Since I put this name in my FS, Myspace, YM and Live...Well...Is simple actually...<br /><br />Now...As my friends know normally they call me "Soon", with some words behind it sometimes... (Well...Coming Soon, As Soon As Possible etc...) Just change like this, for example :<br /><br /> SOON --> NOOS<br /><br />See? If u write "Soon" in capital letters and put it upside down it'll become like this, now :<br /><br /> NOOS --> ONOS<br /><br />Just change the place of the alphabet, it become ONOS, now :<br /><br /> X + ONOS --> XONOS<br /><br />Clear now? Haha...<br /><br />Actually this naming thing I take from Kingdom hearts...The Heartless...Like :<br /><br /> SORA --> RO AS<br /><br /> then<br /><br /> RO AS + X --> ROXAS<br /><br />See? For the people that have played KH before they will know...SO some others may ask...Why I want this name?<br /><br />You see...I want to be a Heartless...Coz for me Heart is a burden...You love somebody coz you have Heart right? Since I'm destined to be alone then what for I love? What for I have a Heart? No...I don't want! I don't want to love somebody anymore!! I don't mind if I care my friend, my family but I just don't want to love anymore!!!<br /><br />I'm already in the darkness...Not hoping for light anymore...<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-7706221741342172892?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-4366387360345809812008-04-01T22:41:00.002+08:002008-04-01T23:16:58.145+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"></span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"> That feeling come back again...Yes...Sadness...Lostness...Emptiness...All have come back to me...If that happens means only one thing...My mind tell me no want to lived anymore...What for you lived anyway? Every people destined to die anyway...If like that why you live anyway? Haha...Yup...They are all in my mind now...And I'm resisting them...<br /><br /> I don't know why this kind of feelings come to me again...Maybe I don't have anything to do? Well...If</span> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">like that then maybe after I start work as a part time then it'll get better..."<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Why not find your friend to help you?</span>" Oh ya! Friends...But so strange...I just don't feel want to disturb my friends...Well...It should be...I shouldn't disturb my friends on this matter..."<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">But if you continue like this then...</span>" Haha! Ya...I won't go to die la! But maybe instead of that I'll just need to go to mental hospital only...Hehe...Ya...<br /><br /> I feel so lonely...Yet I in my house...With my family...Yet I feel so lonely...I have friends...Yet I feel so lonely...Feel like I'm just alone in darkness...Why? Why I can't find my friends to share my problems? My family? They'll just listen half way then give me some answer or maybe will just make me feel worse...I need to endure all by myself...I didn't talk to my friends? But if like that then I think I'm just a burden to them if I share my problems...Ya...That's why I don't want to disturb them...<br /><br /> So pain...So suffering...Why I can't do this although my heart want to do this so much? Why deep in heart I want to call her so much but I just can't? Seeing her photos...So happy...I don't want to disturb her anymore...I know she is healing...She got many friends to support her...Everyday...Beside her...Me? Alone...Alone..Alone...I want to meet her, call her or anyway that I can talk to her...But I can't...<br /><br /> Why is so hard for me to become a human? Why I must have all these feelings? I want to cry out all my pain, my loneness, my sadness and many many things! I want to tear my heart, and cut out every pieces of all the feelings! I want to throw my heart away! So I no need to have all these stupid feelings! To become a Heartless! But why I can't? I want to forget everything! Don't care anything! But why I can't??? BUT WHY I CAN'T???<br /><br /> I know tomorrow when I wake up I'll normal again...But later all these "things" will come back...I hate of being like this...But...Deep inside I know...Unless I become a Heartless, I can't get out of these pain...<br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-436638736034580981?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-60747130993635842712008-03-29T22:48:00.003+08:002008-03-30T00:02:02.216+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Finally I had graduated on 23 March 2008...With a Diploma...Haha...I never think that I can grad when I first step my feet in MMC...But yet...Not only I had grad with a Diploma but also a Knowledge Award (Anugerah Ilmu) in my course which is Diploma in Multimedia Technology...After all photo-taking session, buying gifts to my friends and finally bye bye to each other, then only I noticed : "After most probably we won't meet again..." If those of you who read my blog b4, I believe u'll know that my college time is...Actually bad...Half of the reason is coz I'm really lonely in MMC...And half of it...Well...♥...Is not that I don hav friends but...I just can't be one of their group, that's what make me a Lone Ranger...<br /><br /> During the first semester, when I selected to become the penghulu of DMT, which selected by my classmate a.k.a my friends, I'm surprised yet I try my best to doing my job...But...Becoz of my child-alike attitude (Yup, I know that, classmate and I think this is the reason) they don like me and want another leader...Well..Fine then...I resign as the class leader...But yet I'm still doing my job even though I'm not the class leader...<br /><br /> Coz of my attitude I can't get into my friends group...So almost every time I eat alone at the food stall, walk alone, going out alone..Almost everything alone...Frankly speaking...This Lone Ranger experience really is a pain to me, other than ♥...But later and later I realize that...Is just my fate maybe...There must be a reason why Hans, as a Chinese also very popular among friend while I'm not....Well...Attitude...God make different type of people a.k.a different type of attitude and while me...Just unfortunate to have this bad attitude...In other eyes...I admit I do had some bad values, but I do wonder : Is child-alike attitude is really a bad one???<br /><br /> Well...All is pass...What ever the hatreds or likeness are all pass...And coz of this 2 1/2 years, I realized that I prefer alone most of the time...Not all the time k? I do like be with my friends but...I think now I'm in a different world, different dimension not only with my classmate but all...All people...I have feel less confidence when dealing with somebody...Afraid of losing a somebody...For me now is better that I live alone...So I no need to worry about what other thinking, afraid of make other angry me etc...I start to lost...Lost in myself...Lost in eternal darkness...<br /><br /> As you see now...This 2 1/s years make my inner me change totally...If you all read my blog b4, I think almost every post of mine were negative...You see...When you are in a sad, disappoint and blaming yourself status, what are the post you are expect me to write? Is impossible for me to write a happy sunshine post right?<br /><br /> Even though during this past 2 1/2 years is consider by me a darkness period, nevertheless there are some happy memories too...And now I do miss my classmate and my friends...And these are my classmate in DMT...With some comments( If hav any...)<br /><br />Haziq - A nice person...<br /><br />Ahmad Firdaus (Epy) - Ok...The Multimedia King not only in DMT but also in MMC! His multimedia knowledge make him an important person in any activities which need somebody to design banners, posters, badges etc...And of course now he is working...A very good person but just a bit naughty...(Hope next time u won't kacau by popping yourself suddenly in front of the camera when somebody take photo anymore...<br /><br />Ahmad Syakir - Hehe...A funny person...Yet nice...<br /><br />Ami Hazreen - Beautiful and gorgeous! Be in mind though our class have many beautiful "flowers" and Ami is just one of them! And she love football too! She is kind o!<br /><br />Azita (Ain) - Beauty and elegant...Yet small in size...A nice girl...And ya...A thousand sorry for you...Hope u'll forgive me...<br /><br />Chandra Kumar - You gonna respect him! Come-return from Klang to MMC almost everyday since he need to take care of his family...Kudos to you man!<br /><br />Im Qhairul - Ok...He is the coolest man in our class! No matter the outside of him and inside of him...Just cool! And he knows Shuffle also o!<br /><br />Kalaiarasi - No comment...But thousand sorry </span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">to you too...<br /><br />Khairul Faris - He is my Saviour during my first semester...When I have to wear in a smart way but I don know how, he is the one who help me in this matter...Thanks to him I got though the presentation...Thanks man...<br /><br />Masjulianawati (Julia) - One of the beatiful flowers in DMT...Kind...With a sweet smile...<br /><br />Mastura (Mas) - For me she is the prettiest girl in DMT...And of course if a girl is pretty for sure many guy will want her...So the same goes to Mas too...But she is nice o...(For God sake everyone in our class are all nice person..) And I love her smile coz her smile is like a sunshine to me...Wish her luck in her life...<br /><br />Megat Emirul - If Epy is the Multimedia King then Megat is the Programming King in DMT...C ++? Java? C#? ASP? No problem! All in his fingertips only! Kudos man! And now he is working too...<br /><br />Mizatul - Nice girl...But older than me..So..Kak! ^^<br /><br />Mohd Hazamin - Not really knowing him coz we seldom talk during these past years but yet, he is really a helpul person...When a friend need help he always willing to help...Well..This is all I know about him...<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">Mohd Nadhir - Ok...He is kind yet sensitive...So be careful with your words! He is my team mate during our final project and I can tell you...He will try his best to get the work done so I'm happy to team with him...Wish you luck mate!<br /><br />Soba - Ok...Not mee k? His name really is Soba...Kind and helpul...<br /><br />Faliq - A cool person also like Im...But Im is cooler...<br /><br />Zaeim - Aii...No comments....<br /><br />Aizuddin - He is nice...(While other says he is evil..Yet I don now why..) And a hardworking person...<br /><br />Hilmi - When you see him most probably you will thought he is a chinese if u don see him probably coz he is so..White! Like chinese people white...I think even me also darker than him...Nice and kind...<br /><br /><br />Atiqah - Tomboyish girl...Yet she is nice o! And she is very good in singing too!<br /><br />Nor Syahida - Thin...Yet beauty...But gila2 sikit la...Hehe...<br /><br />Eliani - Her true name is too long...So almost every time is a hard task for every lecturer to spell her name correctly, and this often make me wonder what is so hard for her name to spell about as I can spell her name correctly..Oh well..A sweet and nice girl....<br /><br />Nur Farahidayah (Farah) - Chubby-faced girl...Yup..That's her...But she is very nice o! A very caring person...WIll be your lucky if you friend with her...<br /><br />Nur Farhana - I like to call her Hana coz in Japanese "Hana" means flowers...My team mate too during final project...Thank to her and Nadhir then I only can get A in my project...Thanks! (Of course En Iskandar too)<br /><br />Nur Sharafina (Fifi) - Sweet and beauty girl...Nice too...Sorry to make you dissapoint about me...Hope I can be a better person in the future...Thanks for your support at the early time! And she is very dedicated in Love...So if anyone can be his lover he is the most happiest man in the world! Wish you will find someone who will love you forever and take care you forever! Amin...<br /><br />Nur Syazwani (Wani) - She is my co-leader in my class...White-skin also o! And she is very nice too!<br /><br />Nurul Hikma - Thin yet cute...<br /><br />Rabi'atul - Hmm...A nice girl....<br /><br />Rokiah - Beauty Genting Girl..Yup...Her house in Genting so is really hard if I want to find her...<br /><br />Roswarninadia - Black sweet girl...Kind yet sensitive...I do hope next time when u faced a problem don stomp your feet on the ground first...Find a solution of it then if you don get it don stomp too! Find till you get it!<br /><br />Shafiqah Adhila (Ila) - If Mastura is the prettiest girl in DMT, then Ila is the cutest girl in DMT...Although she is thin she is so cute and adorable o! She is nice and kind too!<br /><br />Siti Sarah - No comments...<br /><br />Soon - Finally me...Child-attitude, stupid, selfish, loud-speaking, and many other bad things guy...Write till this point then I notice...No matter I'm so lonely in MMC...Sigh...<br /><br />Of course there are many friends too but I can't state all of them like Iskandar, Chaied, Halida, Akmar, Aziah, Anthony and many more...Other than that all my lecturers...Thanks to you all! In this 2 and a half years! I gain a lot! And lost a lot too...Nevermind now I know they are all part of the life...<br /><br />All those memories...Will be in my hearts....<br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-6074713099363584271?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-4474420273846881382008-02-23T20:12:00.008+08:002008-02-23T20:34:20.481+08:00<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:100%;">Ok...The more I lived, the more closer I going to end my live...Seriously! I just can't take it anymore! Personally I don't know I live for what...I just live so that I can die maybe...No hope at all...I just can't take it...Everyday keep hearing my parents scolding at me...Well...I can't blame them though...Coz I'm so </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >STUPID</span><span style="font-size:100%;">! I just don't know why my brain just can't remember things and just keep getting scold for the same thing...And some more my reaction really slow like...Ok..Maybe slower than tortoise! Just some simple logic things also can't figure out!!! I keep wondering...How will I gonna survive when I need to work out there where full of darkness??? Everywhere is just traps that want to trap you...<br /><br />Now I'm totally blur...Totally blank...What is the target of my life? I do have one before this...And bcoz of this target...Make my heart scattered into pieces...Make myself sank into darkness...Make myself totally lost...Now...I don't even want to think about this...I just want to get out of all this!!! All this feelings! All this scolding! All this blankness!!!!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:180%;">HOW? HOW I CAN GET OUT ALL THESE THINGS??????</span><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);">I really tired...So tired...Don't know when I will end all this...If my day keep getting worse...Like I said during the new year...Then probably I will go away forever for good...</span><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-447442027384688138?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6796784074178935795.post-33123712383171793792008-02-09T23:47:00.000+08:002008-02-10T00:08:56.677+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >春风吹来金猪去</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >金鼠随风带福来</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >福禄寿财降人间</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >降临你家万祥来</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >心想事成万事顺</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >龙马精神身康健</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >横财就手财广进</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-style: italic; font-family: lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >青春美丽永伴你！</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">新年快乐！不知各位有没有收到我的新年讯息呢？如果你以为这是一封Forward讯息的话，那你就错了哦！因为这是我的呕心之作哦！自创的哦！哈哈！不知怎的，最近很喜欢做这种七字诗，所以趁着新的一年我就创作了一下...希望别见笑就好...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">好了...在此祝你们：鼠年行大运！恭喜恭喜！</span><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6796784074178935795-3312371238317179379?l=xonos.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Xonoshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08110598071443791001noreply@blogger.com0